Dust

XXXVI

Shi and I step further into the new world we've just discovered, our shoes meeting asphalt. If I squint into the distance, I can see a blur of mingling bodies, and buildings more tightly wound. If I'm correct, we're approaching some sort of main center; down where we are now, the buildings are few and it seems awfully deserted, and much quieter than I'm used to. Chills run down my spine; I shiver.

"You have no idea where he is, do you?" asks Shi, beside me. When I glance at him, I see only his profile, his eyes trained on the path ahead of him. Part of me is amused we can walk in the middle of the road without the threat of vehicles; back in Maris, that would be impossible. This place really is different. "Like, he didn't reminisce, not even once?"

"He reminisced," I answer, "just very vaguely reminisced."

"Next time you want to find someone and end their life—just a tip—ask them to reminisce specifically. You know, so you can get the job done with more efficiency—"

"Shi!" I yelp, grabbing his arm and pulling him from the street, as a car rolls by. We hobble onto the street, and I watch as the car goes by, a slight hope in me that it's Gael, somehow. I'm afraid, and I admit it; now I know how Gael felt—entirely out of place, and threatened because of it. So, a large part of me just wants to get this done and get out.

The car, an old and rather broken down army green sedan, passes, and I peer into the window—only to find an overweight man in a wife beater. Not Gael. I sigh, and Shi sighs with me, giving me a reassuring pat on the back as he continues walking. "We'll find him, Gemma."

"We'd better," I mumble. We continue walking until we reach the main street, where the sidewalks thicken with people and I find myself on the verge of suffocation. So many others—humans—in the same space as me, breathing the same air as me, is beginning to stress me out. I feel overheated, and the sun suddenly seems brutal. The main street hums with the noise of obscure dialogue, the patter of footsteps, and the distant barking of dogs on leashes. Around me, humans purchase fruits from street vendors, duck into clothing boutiques, or lounge at the benches near the fountain in the center of the traffic circle—two dolphins with water spurting in elegant tendrils from their mouths. It's not the city I'm used to, and I would probably enjoy the variety of the experience, if I wasn't too busy worrying these humans were on to me, or Shi.

I feel Shi's fingers interlock in mine, and look up at him. He nods curtly in my direction, eyebrows pulled low over his eyes as he mouths, Calm down. I got you. I exhale, relaxing. I don't know what I'd do if he hadn't helped me all this way; having someone else to hold my hand makes me feel safer than I ever have, especially in a sea of the unknown.

"I don't see him anywhere," I say, my shoulders sagging. "What if he's already dead? There's no telling if he even made it back in the first place..."

"We made it here," Shi encourages. "He's here, he just might not be here, on this main street. Don't sound so hopeless."

I huff, crossing my arms over my chest as we pass a vendor selling various blocks of scented soap. "I can sound however I want to sound."

"In that case," says Shi with a chuckle, "if you wanted to sound like a five-year-old just then, you accomplished it."

This earns him a hit in the shoulder from me.

Shi just laughs, lifting his eyes to survey the main street along with me. To my dismay, we're coming to the end of it, where the road splits off to many directions, the sidewalks following it. We could walk along those sidewalks, but who knows how long it would take to trek all of that? I'm beginning to do more than just sound hopeless, my heart thudding away in my chest. All this way, and for nothing.