Dev Sona Fanfiction

Chapter 15

Continued from chapter 14 - Dev confesses about his love to Ishwari and breaks her heart. He can't forgive himself for causing such emotional pain to his beloved mother. Sona is also depressed seeing Dev's situation...

Sona spent the day worrying about Dev and wondering what she could do to help. She sent him a short text saying that when he needed her and was ready she would be right there waiting. No response. Elina and her dada suggested that she should go and talk to Auntyji maybe and if she explained it she would fogive them and accept them. But Sona wanted to check with Dev first. She had no idea what they spoke about because Dev wouldn't talk to her. God knows what had happened and what Auntyji had told him. All she could hope for was that Dev would calm down and come to her and talk.

Ishwari got up when Kichu called her out for lunch. She wasn't hungry but she went and ate anyways. She knew Dev hadn't come out of his room and she knew that her son needed her assurance, but she was too hurt to go up to him. She needed to think about things. She wasn't prepared for hearing Dev tell her that he loved Sonakshi and had such deep feelings for her. She thought about how sad her son had been. When was the last time she had seen Dev crying like this? Maybe when he was a child? She was angry yes, but she still couldn't stand to see tears in her son's eyes and see him this sad. Was she being irrational? Was she being selfish? Was it really about Sonakshi or was it about her possessiveness about Dev? 

The day went by and at night Dev had still not come down for dinner. Ishwari ate with Nikki and Rhea but she could barely eat knwoing that Dev was still pining and hadn't had any food all day. She asked Kichu to serve food for Dev in a tray and after Nikki and Rhea went to bed, she took the tray up to her son's room.

She opened the bathroon and saw Dev sitting on the floor eyes closed and head leaning on the cool bathroom tiles. She went up to him and took his arm. Dev jolted up and his eyes flew open as he focused on his mom. She made him get up and he followed her as she led him to his bed and made him sit. She took the tray and silently took a spoonful and fed him. He ate the food but couldn't bring himself to swallow. He looked at her until she met his eyes and then dissolved into tears putting his head on her lap. 

"Maa.. main tera achha beta nahin hoon. Maine tujhe bahut dukh diye hain maa. Mujhe maaf kar de please. Tu jo bolegi main karoonga."

"Dev, mujhe dukh is baat ka hai ki tune mujhse jhooth bola, baatein chhupayi. Tu mujhse kehke to dekhta beta. Main tere baat ko kabhi nahin taalti.. par tune. Dev, meri shaan tujhse thi. Tu mera guroor tha, mera vishwas. Tune to mera bharosa hi tod diya."

"nahin maa.. nahin.. "

"Tujhe jo thik lage tu kar. Par aaj se agar tune mujhse jhooth bola to samajh lena ki meri chita wahin jal gayi."

"Maa please aisi batein mat kar please.. tu jo kahegi main karoonga. Main vada karta hoon maa"

"Thik hai. To firr tu sun le. Sonakshi is ghar ki bahu kabhi nahin banegi. Jiske wajah se mera garv meri hi aankhon ke saamne chaknachoor ho gaya, wo mere rehte is ghar mein firr kabhi nahin aayegi."

Dev's heart broke into a million pieces and he felt it resonate deep within his soul. He was a broken man and he didn't understand the rules of love or what he did to deserve it but he knew that his family and Sona were both precious to him and he would honour his mother and be the son she wanted. He vowed that he would never again cause distress to his mother last night, and he would stick to his vow. But he had also promised Sona that he will love her till eternity and he couldn't let go of that promise either.

"Main vaada karta hoon maa. Main vaada karta hoon ki Sona ab is ghar mein nahin aayegi.", Dev calmly wiped his tears and Ishwari's tears. He gave her a small smile and let her feed him dinner.

He texted Sona and asked her to meet him outside her house.

Sona was waiting for Dev when he arrived. He seemed calmer but he also seemed broken and sad. She hugged him and he hugged her back as if he never wanted to let her go. He told her in detail what had happened and when he came to the part where Ishwari had announced that she wouldn't allow them to get married, Sona gasped and let go of him.

"Sona tum kal se ghar pe mat aana. Maine Dr. Sinha se baat kar li hai and you can go back to your post at the hospital on better terms. Also, agar tumhe koi aur job chahiye to I will help you completely...."

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!", Sona screamed.

"Tum aise coldly kaise keh sakte ho ye sab?? Kya ho gaya hai tumhe? Tum mujhe meri naukri aur career ke baare mein lecture suna rahe ho? Can we please discuss the more important issues here? Ya tum escapist banke usko avoid karte rahoge? Kab tak avoid karoge?", Sona demanded. She pushed Dev and punched him on his chest in anger while sobbing like a little girl. 

Dev stood there calmly and silently listening to her and enduring her punches. He didn't even flinch. He let her rage and then said calmly.

"Sona, main avoid nahin kar raha. Jo bi hua maine tumse share kiya. Maine maa se vada kiya ki tum ab mere us ghar pe nahin aaogi to ye baatein discuss karni zaroori hai ki tum kal se kahan kaam karogi."

"Oh.. come on.. par.."

"Shh... ab meri baat suno. Dhyaan se sunna aur shanti se calmly soch samajh ke faisla karna. Maine maa ko promise kiya hai ki tum us ghar ki bahu nahin banogi. Aur ye main nibhaoonga. Shhh.. let me finish.

Maine maa se vaada kiya ki tum us ghar pe nahin aaogi, aur main chahta hoon ki tum bhi is vaade ko nibhao. ye meri request hai. Shh...wait.

Par Sonakshi, main aaj bhi tumse utna hi pyar karta hoon aur hamesha karoonga. Main nahin jaanta ki tumse ye kehna meri selfishness hai ya nahin, par ye sach hai and it won't change. Main jab apni family ke liye lad raha tha, I didn't give up. Aaj, main apne aap ke liye lad raha hoon, aapke liye lad raha hoon and aaj bhi, more than ever, I will NOT give up. 

Aapko adhikaar hai ki aap settle na karein. Aapke wishes aur aapke armaan ko main samajhta hoon aur respect karta hoon unki. Isiliye agar aapko ye manzoor nahin to I understand, lekin I will never give up on us. Aap agar haar maan le tab bhi nahin. Main aapse tab bhi pyar karta rahoonga.. Meri zindagi aur meri har saans tab bhi aap ki hi rahegi. 

Ab aap jaaiye aur sochiye. Aapka jo faisla hoga mujhe manzoor hoga."

Sona's tears wouldn't stop. What was happening to them? The world they had just started building was collapsing on them and she felt like a drowning child clutching at straws. She heard Dev and she knew what he was saying, what he was asking of her. What were her heart's desires? Was it marriage, was it family, was it children? In the centre of it all, was it love? Their love for each other? Would her family understand? Probably never. What would she do?

She didn't want to choose. She didn't want to lose. She wanted to be happy again but it all seemed so far away in the distance and she was so tired. She couldn't complete her journey. She turned around and left. She went home and straight to bed. Sleep eluded her and she lay thinking.. she would lie thinking all night.

Dev saw her leave. He felt the weight of her broken heart on his shoulders and he didn't think he could bear the weight. After she left he sank to the ground on his knees and he wept. He wept because he was happy to have known such a love. He wept because he felt defeated by the blows of destiny. He wept for all the years when he wanted nothing for himself losing his childhood in the process. He wept for the moments he had spent with Sona in love's arms knowing that he would never want anything for himself anymore because he found everything. He wept as he knew that he had just sentenced himself to a life of struggle and constant tests. 

To be continued...