Cirque de' Rogue (~*o*)~

Chapter 4- sorry rewritten a bit \(-.-)/

Dedicated to the awesome......................shadowmoon5 :D

recap Vulcaria took the pup, willow, and escaped through a different exit and left the pup hidden while she went to look for food. In the shadow valley pack jasons older brother Derek, his beta, found out that their mother was not their fathers true mate and that he kept her against her will.  Jason still wants Vulcaria dead because he wants someone to blame for his mothers death which was due to an overdose.

T-T * I really really HATE their father....

Chapter 4

Vulcaria had left the young pup in order to hunt. They needed the food, the pup needed it more.

A deer, thats what vulcaria saw before her, more then enough to feed the both of them and now that she could finally transform, it would be easy to kill such an innocent creature.  Putting aside the fact that Vulcaria had not hunted a day in her life, the mere thought of turning back into her lycan only made her feel sick, a dizzyness that ended with her having another panic attack.

Now in the absence of the pup everything she tried to forget came back to her in a wave of emotions and the tears that overflowed to the rythm of her silent sobs. She had killed a man who attempted to rape her and yet she was still damaged. After her epsilon died the memories he forced her to forget came back. The numerous times he had raped her while commanding her to lay still. She now knew the reason that his wife hated her so much and why she had called her such vile names. She had also witnessed the bloodshed that was left of her pack and now she had to look after a young pup. Something she knew little to nothing about.

The deer had long run from its predator but even then Vulcaria already knew that she would never transform into her lycan again let alone kill. How could she kill, what had happened that she had become the very thing that she shunned. Her heart ached as she approached the clearing where she left Willow.

She could still hear Willows not so quiet tears. How would she be able to look after this pup if she could not provide for the child. She sighed in frustration at her uselessness. She felt weak and pathetic just as everyone would have reminded her if they were alive.

Slowly she parted the leaves that hid Willow. She found the crying pup, but the pup was covered in fresh blood, a head wound was visible at her right side where her skull was bashed in. The human clothes hung limp on a branch void of blood.

Vulcaria let out a silent scream as she took a step back tripping on a root of the tree that held the spirit of the dead pup. Vulcaria felt more frightened then she ever had, how could she not have noticed that the child was dead. That the pup had no scent, that its spirit was plagued with the darkness.

'Why,WHY? YOU left me. You left me just like my mother! You left me with Them!'The pups voice was high pitched and angry almost like sounds were being strung together, the sentence was barely coherent as she jumped off the tree closer to Vulcaria but all Vulcaria could think of was who, who had she left her with? Her eyes darted furiously through the forest catching glimpses of moving shadows.

It was then that Vulcaria realised that none of the souls had rested, they had all followed her, clinging to her, draining her of energy. They wanted her dead and even though a part of her did want to die something else made her legs move.

Soon she was running faster then she thought possible as her head was plagued by the voices of the dead. Spectral like claws reached for her, drinking her blood. She couldn't see where she was going all she knew was that she had to run. This wasn't her going mad, it was real as real as the wounds they were able to inflict on her. Her mind was racing but always falling back to the pup. They would all be evil spirits now and she could not help them, she could have saved Willow. She could have if someone taught her how except now it was too late. Thats when it became clear to Vulcaria that they were all suffering because of her, all because of her and her steps began to falter why was she running when she had nothing to live for, when she had nothing left not even her dignity not even hope...

Shadow Valley Pack

Jason sat outside watching his brothers train. They trained harder even though their father was dead. After they held a meeting he began to realise how close their fathers death had brought them all.

They were smiling and that made him smile.

He lifted eyes from the pack he now commanded of 30 strong and made his way to his mothers old room. Her scent was still their cocooning him in love.

Only that love is already dead. She left. She chose to leave.

In the silence of the room, her body removed, he allowed himself to mourn her with no regret. He remembered her arms like a poem of lines illustrating her attempt at happiness, to leave him. Everyday she told him how much she loved him. She would hold him and tell him stories of a better life where she would bake him a birthday cake and tuck him at night, singing him lullaby's. Everyday she would either try to escape or kill herself. Every night cry himself to sleep knowing his mother wanted to leave him and now it finally happened. She left for good.

Slowly he lifted himself from the floor and made his way to her bed. Laying down he cuddled her pillow as he screamed into questions of why she left but he was only answered by silence as he whimpered in agony.

She left.

He turned around feeling something poke at his back. He began to slowly poke at the mattress when logic made him look under the mattress and while lifting it slightly he saw an uneven cut made by his mothers claw.

He pushed his hand in grabbing onto the hard cover of a book. Pulling it out he saw it was his drawing book. The tears came now from the feeling of love coursing through his veins, she did care.

He had drawn pictures of the outside, anything that he thought she would have liked to see. One night he forgot it in her room, the next day she had told him to stop because his father would punish her if he found out.

He never knew she had kept it safe.

He opened the pages with the tenderness he felt in his heart until he saw writing covering every inch of every page, written over the drawing he had taken days to perfect for her.

The words though depicted everything she felt inside against everything he had drawn of the outside world. It was her life story. The first and last gift she had given him...or so he thought.

Vulcaria

The more her footsteps faltered the louder their voices became. the more painful their blows. She lay down taking the wrath of the dead thinking of the innocent that could never rest in peace and she cried because no matter how often she wished she could escape the pack she never wanted it to be like this. She was dying, she could feel it but even that could not comfort her as she stared at the bloodied dark spirits. she dared not close her eyes...this was her punishment.

Unknown

She was dying how could he have been so late but it wasn't that late as he placed a hand on her body realising his energy. In fear of the purity of his magic the ghouls* left pained by exposure to the forces that opposed them.

ghouls* ghosts who take on a more solid form, they are fuelled by anger and hatred and can not rest

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