Chapter 1

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(Please stick around to later chapters)
[WARNING: major spoilers, violence, blood, mild language, clinical & severe depression, attempted suicide, failed attempts at good grammar, nightmares, monster racism, slight pairings, skip this, non-romance, UndyneXAlphys, AsgoreXToriel, onesided CharaXSans, NO Fontcest, Post Pacifist run AKA multiple timelines later, seriously why are you reading this, Fem! Frisk & Chara, terrible humor even without the puns, genderless Mettaton with default "male" pronouns, slight AU, you must really like reading pointless stuff, No Soriel nor FriskXSans, hinted PapyrusXMTT, lots of characters, might contain an OC or two, get over it, 17-23 year-old skeletons, child! Frisk, teenage! Chara, spelling errors, just read the damn story already, bad writing, potted Flowey, & some of these aren't even warnings! XD]

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He wondered if this was supposed to be some kind of joke. If it was then he must have missed the punchline. It was real funny too.

Shame he wasn't laughing.

.....

Another pacifist run was completed. Everyone was overjoyed at the prospect of finally seeing the actual sky for once. Of course, Sans had already seen it multiple times before. Sometimes they would exit during the day and he and Frisk would have to explain that no, Papyrus, those were not cotton candy, they were clouds. Other times they would come out at night and see the stars shining above them. It was a beautiful sight, Asgore would often comment. Which was true. No matter how many times he saw it, that was one of the few things that would never seem to get old.

Too bad it would never last.

He would remember Toriel asking Frisk if she had anywhere to go, about her real parents, of course she would always reply no, saying she was an orphan. Tori would always be more than happy to take her in as her own. Papyrus would run off down the mountain, excited at the chance to become friends with the humans that lived further down, with Undyne soon chasing after.

It was always a happy sight. Sickeningly happy in fact. They were all so naive and blissfully ignorant. They never even made it down to meet a single one of them. In some ways that was good. Too many questions none of them would be comfortable answering. After all, monsters showing up one day and gone the next at random would question their sanity. Whose? Well, almost everyone's, monster and human alike. That certainly wouldn't be normal. Not like anything is.

A young girl possessed by a demon certainly isn't. A young girl committing Genocide isn't. A young girl dying by his hand a hundred times over definitely isn't.

Screw Undyne, she was the real undying. It was a shame Undyne died by the kid's knife. But that had soon gotten old. After killing her about twenty or so times, she just wasn't a challenge anymore. He wondered how many times Alphys was forced to watch her die. Come to think of it, what had happened to the anime-loving scientist? Suicide maybe? She probably locked herself down in the basement so the kid wouldn't find her. Smart really. He knew Alphys and Undyne loved each other. Shame their relationship had to start over and over again. Much like his entire life apparently. Okay, that was an exaggeration. Not his entire life, just the days after the kid showed up. It soon became apparent that he could barely even remember a time before the resets happened. That kind of scared him. Even more than something new. Ironic, really, that he had become so used to resets that he was scared of life above ground, without a do-over.

No one else but him, the weed, and the demon-possessed kid knew about the resets. In some ways he was glad only he could remember them and not his brother or friends. Even Frisk could only remember so much about each timeline, especially the ones where Chara reseted. He had once considered telling them. Only, he could never bring himself to do it. Maybe he was scared? Scared that they would realize he was nothing but a murderer. Sure he never killed anyone innocent, but either way Chara was still just a young girl... Then again, young girls don't become murderers. And at the same time she was still the king and queen's adopted daughter. They'd be horrified to know the truth. Frisk would never come near him again after hearing that he killed Chara again and again while in her body. And think of Papyrus, knowing he died hundreds of times over. It would terrify him.

But none of it would have mattered anyway. They'd all forget after the next reset. It was getting real annoying. It was the same exact thing all over again. Sometimes he wondered if it would be worth it just to get them to do something else. Heh, no wonder the kid said they were all so boring. Never though he'd be sympathizing with his killer. It was a sickening thought.

Eventually he just gave up. Want to know why he is so lazy? What's the point of doing all that work if you have to do it all over again? Want to know why he tells all those awful jokes? What other kind of entertainment is there? It helps him cope. He'd go mad otherwise. He's the kind of guy who hides all his pain behind a masked smile. Sometimes, it would get so bad he'd have to injure himself just so he'd know that he was, in fact, real. God must hate him, why else does he have to be the only one to go through this?

"Come on Sansy, surely even you, must have gotten so sick of this world? Don't you want it all to end?"

Why, why, must she be right? It was true. He did want it all to end. He was tired. Tired of living through the same damn crap.

"I'm doing you a favor really. What use is a brother who's no different than an AI? Just saying and acting as he was programmed to do."

That wasn't true. He refused to believe that. It wasn't his fault. There wasn't any reason to change his routine. He was just acting as though the day had just started.

Like none of it ever happened.

It aggravated him. Why can't he be like that? He'd be better off not knowing at all. Blissfully ignorant, just like his brother.

"I'm helping you. If I don't do something, we'll be stuck in an endless loop forever. That's why I decided to erase it all. It'll just go back to the way it was before anyway. So what's the problem in that?"

But he didn't want the world to be erased. He didn't want to make anyone else suffer. Even if they would just come right back to life and forget it all ever happened, it didn't change the fact that it did happen.

"You know what "sans" means? It means "without!" You no longer have a brother! Nor family and friends! You don't have anything anymore! You're "sans" everything! HAHAHA! Isn't that humorous?"

Yes, very punny, indeed. Really tickled his funny bone.

He would always remind himself to never let himself become too happy; to never let himself become too attached to a specific timeline. It would only lead to heartache in the end. It would never last.

"You know your life's hell when not even death can save you."

Oh, how true that was.

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