eraser 一 kth [2]

•ten•

i walked alone, head down, making my way to the mailbox. it's been weeks, but everyday i check to see if you have sent me a letter. i could've made the maid or butler get the mail, but i insist on personally going to get the mail nowadays.

my attempts everyday before today have all been proven futile with the only mails in the mailbox being for my parents or from my school.

but once again today i hold onto the hope that i'll receive your mail. although you have now moved on, i still hold onto the hope that i still mean something to you.

i still hold onto the promise where you said that you would eternally love me and only me.

hold onto the promise where you said i would always be yours and you would always be mine

hold onto your words of always thinking about me

my mind trails to the words from deep inside spoken by who i can't remember.

in life there's something called hope, and many people believe in hope.
they are all hopeful, wishing and believing for what they want.
but getting hopeful will break a person down when reality pops back into their life.
and maybe that's why people let of hope before it seeps into their veins.
they trying to protect themselves from the possible devastation and easily damaged emotions

i gulp. i remember who told me that now. park jimin.

is that why you like him so much? because when he tries his words and voice become his palette and he paints a beautiful serenade even when the topic is depressing?

i push aside the thoughts. i have to. although somewhere in my mind i have given up, my heart still lingers on the feelings of hope and i shouldn't let the last spark of light go.

as i came closer, my heart began beating faster and faster and the pace of my steps became more unsteady.

i sighed deeply when i reached the mailbox, carefully placing my hand on the rim of the cover.

when i was with you, i was focused on striving for more and more memories. only now do i understand that the simplest ones were the fondest ones, everything i took for granted.

then flashbacks from the months before started to seep into my mind. flashbacks of excitedly coming to check the mailbox. flashbacks of  grabbing all the mail out and quickly shuffling through to find your mail. and flashbacks of disappointment and a forced bitter smile.

i tell myself it'll be different this time once again.

opening.

i take the the letters and shuffle through them quickly. they all look the same, paper white, and now i am done shuffling through all the letters.

i screamed, yelling for justice.

the letters began scattering, falling on the ground like the sakura petals but ungracefully.

when i feel that the dejection inside of me isn't decreasing, i stop.

i crouch low, beginning to slowly pick up the letters one by one to put on the dining room table for when i have retreated inside.

i pick up the last letter.

i become a statue.

the sender's name is jun jiwoo.

something else stops.

my heart.

i recognize the handwriting i have missed during my original search.

i decide to run.

i run to my room, passing my curious mother.

this is from you. you've finally sent me a letter. all this time i've consumed has made its worth.

i frantically make my way to my desk, searching the scattered mess for a pair of scissors so that i could cut the side of the envelope and retrieve your letter.

im stopped.

"taehyung, put that down!" my mother shouts.

im confused, but the tears that have fallen due to joy during my run must confuse my mother even more.

i bring the letter and scissors close to me, hugging them preciously.

"taehyung, i know you're hurt. put the scissors down. we can talk. don't do it again. sweetie, please." panic, although i don't know why, is registered in her voice.

"mom, what are you talking about? do what again?"

and she this time she is the one to freeze.

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honestly im so tired. anyway my mind went blank a bit so i used quite of bit of stuff from my poetry book in this chapter.

and as i said this is a stand alone story but can be interrupted to be a sequel to my story scissors so at the end i included some references to the story scissors- like the scissors as an object does not but the event with the object does-

anyway i cant wait until the next update! lmao sorry to leave ya hanging

what does jiwoo write?

btw jiwoo in korean means erase.