Dedicated to Chaldwee. Dahil hindi ko mapagbigyan ang hiling mo na buhayin si Johann kaya idedicate ko na lang sayo ang chapter na to.
Chapter 3
"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.'"
- John Greenleaf Whittier
I can't take my eyes off him and he is looking at me too. Nag iwas lang kami ng tingin when Dr. Kester cleared his throat.
"Excuse me." Tapos lumabas na siya ng room at iniwan kaming dalawa ni John. Nakatayo siya sa may paanan ng kama ko. The I saw him turned his back and he faced the window.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi pa siya lumabas. Kung hindi niya rin naman pala ako kakausapin eh di sana sumama na lang siya kay Dr. Kester. Or baka talagang siya ang nagbabantay sa akin.
"John, you don't have to guard me 24/7. I'm okay now. You could have your rest. I will be fine." I waited for him to reply pero hindi siya nagsalita. He just kept on looking at the window. I don't know what's so interesting outside.
"You could have done better, you know." Nagulat ako nung bigla siyang magsalita pagkatapos niyang dedmahin ang sinabi ko. At weird pa, hindi ko maintindihan ang sinabi niya.
"Excuse me?"Akala ko haharap na siya sa akin kasi nakikipag usap na siya pero nanatili siyang nakatalikod.
"I said you could have done better. If you wanted to kill yourself, Why didn't you just get a gun and shot yourself in the head." There is acid in his voice. And what made him think that I wanted to kill myself? OO inaamin ko na minsan sumasagi sa isip ko ang bagay na yun pero hindi ko alam kung kaya ko ngang gawin yun.
"I am not trying to kill myself?"
"Really?" Humarap siya sa akin. I can see anger in his green eyes. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya galit.
"You're underweight. The doctor diagnosed that you're stressed and a month more you'll be malnourished. Your officemate and housemate said that you barely touched your food. Your boyfriend had been dead for over six months and the caretaker at the cemetery said that you came there every other day. Why didn't you just dig a grave beside his so it would save you from travelling back and forth?"
