Not over you, yet.

Clinging on to him

That love making seemed to be too real Tim had avoided him and somehow he wasn't ready to let Tim go a three year marriage  shouldn't have ended the way it did but Kenny knew why. Tim had left the bedside where they made love not much talking about why they had ended and if they were truly going to be over one an other after a twenty something year friendship, Sighing  he knew Tim left for good reasons they never seemed to be able to work with each other with their dates. The truth was they barely still trusted each other, the messy side proved Tim had been up and showered now Kenny had no idea what to do not a single thought  he was probably never going to get over  Tim, it seemed that he clung on to him  because he was better than just being someone he once was married to and loved  for a life time it felt twenty four years or something meant more to him. Getting out of bed with a sigh he felt like he was the most well loved man in the world and the same time he didn't want Tim to keep avoiding him at all, Tim McGraw was his only love  the only person he could see him self truly with and with children. Once showered  and throwing clothes on leaving the bus he wondered where the hell Tim was working out together was something  they always did and now it seemed it wasn't going to happen, "where are you goin'?" that southern accent that Louisiana boy  made him weak to the knees but something was different "Lookin' for you" Kenny smiled  as Tim jogged his way over to him pining him against the bus smirking something must have changed Tim's mind about moving completely on with someone new. "I was comin'  you wana wait for me and we can go have breakfast?" he asked  Kenny felt the same way he felt all those years ago  "Yeah of course we haven't spoken  much between you being on stage and  sound check  he was still hoping there was still a chance for them "I know" Tim replied rubbing the back of his neck that instantly made Kenny feel like Tim was well and truly like he was the only man alive.  "Can we go somewhere for a couple hours?" Kenny asked  watching the man standing in front of him,  with a nod  Tim kissed his face "let me change quick and we can go somewhere" Tim replied  as he jumped on the bus.

The way it felt to sit  next to Tim in  a local park somewhere eating a burrito felt like old times,  honestly Kenny wanted to make love to Tim over and over again and crawl into bed  each night with Tim but he was right timing sucked  between their dates being on the road it was going to suck to try. "Sam..  we can't throw everything away  we have too much to throw away" Kenny began he was sure that getting over Tim wasn't going to happen he still felt the same  he could have broke down begging Tim to try "We do. Kenny all we did was fight even time apart i didn't see it was goin' to work ya' know?" Tim spoke softly glancing back at him trying digest the fact  they weren't ever over each other knowing Tim was going to eventually  move on to someone else Kenny feared  that  Gary Allan or someone was in his life romantically. "I know but this could work Sam.. we have to make it work" Kenny begged the only man he had ever loved he couldn't take the chance of really walking away from a marriage of three years  with no children that was a let down  he wanted to have children and chase them around and watch Tim rock their children to sleep. They were somewhere in Georgia Kenny didn't care he knew that Tim was going to be focused on the show and everything going on, "Ken, you know I love you  honestly i would love to try  again but baby.. "Tim swallowed hard  he couldn't even  handle the fact he was about to break down in Kenny's presence.  Kenny could feel himself wanting to  get mad  he wasn't over Tim and he knew Tim was never well and truly over him either and he knew it and Tim was shutting him out, taking Tim's hand  for a minute silently a tear ran down Tim's cheek  it wasn't the first time Kenny had seen the side of Tim McGraw cry  the sensitive man he was. Sliding in to Tim's lap Kenny cupped his face and wiped the tear away with his thumb "I Love you Samuel Timothy McGraw and no other man would make me the happiest man alive than you, we may have had our asses whooped because we're gay but we have over come so much and i don't see myself going to ever be well and truly over you. I know, i know we have had some hard times but you know you and i are strong enough to over come this" Kenny softly spoke nuzzling his face into Tim's feeling his breathe against his face  like it was a breathe of fresh air  Tim had closed his eyes holding on tightly to him  the grip felt real and right he couldn't afford to loose Tim anymore than he had almost  six months ago he still wouldn't sign the divorce papers.

Smiling  Kenny walked out on the stage where Tim had been performing for the first time in months he hadn't shaved  this time he didn't care who saw him he was re joining Tim on stage. Tim had bursted into it's your love  stepping in front  of him their eyes locked on to each other  joining him on stage had felt like the old times but this time he never imagined  that he was singing  a love balled  together which he didn't expect at all none of this. The Velvet touch  of Tim's fingers brushing his nose  got him giddy  like he was a teenager  again falling in love with a man all over again "It's your love, it just does somethin' to me, sends a shock right through me i can't get enough, if you wonder about the spell i'm under it's your love." Kenny couldn't  wipe the smile off his face he grabbed Tim's hand before he knew it  he was slow dancing with  the man he loved   he didn't realise a few milion people had their eyes on the couple cheering for them. The first time in two and half years he was able to lay his head on Tim's shoulder  listening to the sound of Tim's voice drowning out the sound of the applause,  how many times he couldn't count how many times he wanted to show his affection for him  to the world that would be on youtube in twenty four hours  later  he didn't care pulling back  he cupped Tim's face whispering in Tim's ear "I love you" gently kissing him  he faced the audience  and blew them a kiss  before he walked off stage. Kenny hated sitting still he had to be doing something  when Tim walked off stage  at the end of the night his hand  grabbed Tim's hand  just something it was a habit that he did and a habit Tim didn't mind, the smile never wiped off Tim's lips  when Kenny grabbed his hand not a word was spoken  the night ended their on the bus  in the back of the bus where the two ended up making love.