Not over you, yet.

Praying a miracle.

Kenny parted from Tim just to give him a couple days he was hoping Tim would really sit through and talk with him again soon he was still hoping that Tim would come home and honestly walk back through that front door and call it 'home' again. Crashing back at his mama's he had been nursing a beer sitting out on the front porch wondering when all this would stop killing him he couldn't walk away without a fight he still wasn't going to just divorce Tim like that, Karen found her son on the front porch with a beer she sat beside him listening to her son breathe "I can't just do this we made a vow.. " Kenny began he hadn't cried since the night Tim took off after the topic of divorce came up they had fought so much when they were home and nothing had worked. "Kenneth you two were having problems and i can assure you now that neither one of you are really going to get over each other i know this is hard on you and Tim.. Oh, i bet it's hard on him too but son you've gotta understand that when two people drift away and need space and time apart all you can really do is pray to the lord" Karen spoke wrapping her arm around her baby's shoulder rubbing it gently she had seen many times the way Tim had made the man happy and it killed her to know now her son was still hurting still wishing and waiting for something to happen. "I know mom, but honestly i can't see myself without him  we have had twenty three years together and a marriage.. I can't just throw everythin' away" Kenny sighed there would ne no peace and no reliife untill Tim decided what he was doing  Tim was his world he waited for a phone call anything they could pick up again, "I know baby boy.. Sometimes's the hardest thing is lettin' go of someone who might no be over you but you can't force him to come back to you if the timing is right the good lord will do his magic and bring him home but, if it's meant to be or not we can't force it"Karen softly said kissing her son's face wanting to make her son's pain go away.

Kenny ended up getting drunk that night, a local bar where he had gone out many times when he became legal to get inside. Left right and center he was hitting on a few men and a few women drunk enough that a one night stand could happen he needed not think.  The drunker he got the more louder and obnixous he was he had a couple women on his arm he didn't really care all that much, by Three am he had gone home with a man he knew from high school. Chris been just as drunk as Kenny he was Chris had always been intouch with Kenny always  even since Kenny's career took off in Nashville  "fuckin' shut up and love me" was All Kenny could say when thy got in stumbling making out. It felt increidbly wrong but at the same time he needed this.

Waking up the next afternoon Chris had left leaving him a note, all he could think how horrible he was by having a one night stand with Chris because his heart was still remaining with Tim. "I'm praying for a miracle.." He softly spoke to himself pulling his hungover self out of bed he found his phone in the pocket of his jeans, no text from Tim nothing. Shooting him a text he was feeling doubtful alot of doubt that coming home was the worst thing he could do Tim and him had sex a couple times but it seemed to be going no where, it had seemed Tim moved on and was doing the best he could.

He ate breakfast dressed in a t shirt and shorts after swallowing two asprins,  his mother had left him so pancakes  he  ate those with bacon feeling like death he scrolled through his iphone  he hadn't replied to messages from other peers but he sent one to Tim.  "I'm Praying for a miracle for you to walk back through that door.. we can't avoid eachother and then see one another and have good pure sex.." Kenny texted  god he felt so lonely  without him their marriage had been something he had been waiting for for a long time, a long , long time.  Kenny  went back to bed  that afternoon and slept  sleeping was the best resort  to do he was growing desperate having sex with strangers couldn't cut he didn't even know what to do anymore the sound of his cell buzzing on his night stand he had covered his head groaning when the call from Gary Allan came through  Gary was one of Tim's best friends in the world and  it pained him to know that Tim may have moved on  and needed to know to deal with his life. He sighed picking up the phone "About fucking time you picked up!" Gary laughed  Kenny didn't really talk to Gary all that much anymore  none of the peers really. "what'd ya' want?" Kenny asked he wasn't too happy all he wanted to do was die  to drink himself stupid "Checkin' up.. i heard you were with Tim tryin' to work shit out.. you need a friend?" the California native asked  on the other end of the line sounding like he had already broken the neck of the Jamison wiskey "can I come to Hendersonville?" was all Kenny could reply.

Kenny arrived at Gary's approximately three hours later  greeted by Gary's dogs  and Maggie "Uncle Kenny!" she laughed  at thirty she still called Kenny  her uncle they all did and they were just like their old man it amazed him how much she was like her father how spitting image personality wise she was but she wasn't as wild. "Hey Kiddo!" he laughed after petting Lucy and Xora  it made him miss pancho "where's your old man? is he drunk yet?" he asked laughing when he hugged her tightly as she nodded pulling back tying her hair back from her face "yep.. he's out the back on the lake been there since dinner" she replied  watching the man who looked so sad, sad was not the word Kenny would have used anyway  more like lonely, depressed and missing Tim "Well i'll go join him he got rum?" he laughed following Maggie as she lead him through the house laughing "he'll have anythin' in the cellar stocked" she laughed  once Mags left them to be he stepped out the back on the porch where Gary was drinking  alone "Old man on the Jamison and champagne?" Kenny laughed  as Gary sat his glass down " about fuckin' time!" the other man replied laughing approaching him  hugging him tightly  laughing "sorry  i haven't got any rum,  sit down .."  Gary had made the light of a situation  sitting out on the porch with a glass of wine  he hadn't laughed like he had in a long time  Gary was just natrually funny  he was laughing till it hurt,  for a minute the world didn't revolve around Tim just for  two minutes Gary made it seem like it was eternity  that he had been mending his broken heart. "man" Gary spoke  gently placing a hand on his friend's shoulder   speaking the truth "You need to  write, write listen to  I think i've had enough hell, I was in a place at the time with a girlfriend  at the time and i just wrote and kept my head writing  he'll come back" he assured him  gently slapping his shoulder.

"I'd do any thing for us"  Kenny  wrote  he did exactly what Gary said to do when he returned back to the house the photographs  were still around at his mothers house he was trying to wrap his mind around the fact he was once laying in bed laughing with Tim on their wedding night. Here he was  having to accept the fact divorce was in play  and now there was no hope.. none at all.