Switcharoo

Prologue.

(Disclaimer: I don't understand the schooling system in Ireland so bear with me!)
...

Things in my life never went quite as planned. Ever since I could remember, things went every direction they could before going right. Don't believe me? 

When my mother was pregnant with me, her youngest of five, she and my father expected a girl. They had planned for a girl, they even decorated my room with ballerinas and princesses. To top it all off, my name was going to be either Jane or Shauna. Needless to say, when their baby girl came out with a penis they were a bit surprised, but happy nonetheless!

My mother tells me it was a beautiful sunny day when I was born, it's probably why I'm so bubbly and energetic. However, the race my parents took to the hospital was a fast and furious one. You can almost hear the car engines speeding down the freeway when you think about it. Probably why I'm a fiery spirit, as well as a joyful one.

With my fiery nature came it's own set of issues as I grew into a man. As I said before, things never went as planned. When I went into primary school I was, for starters, signed up last minute and then put in three different classes before they found a teacher that could handle an extra student.

When I learned how to read and write, my books and note books would always go missing right before assessments. You can imagine how much worse it got when I grew into my teen years... How I ever managed to get through school was a mystery to me and my parents. So, as college came into view I hope for the best, but expected the worse. 

And boy, did I get the worst.

This is how I, Seán William McLoughlin, came to be the most unfortunate man to ever live.