sad writing for sad days.

dont read.

baby, when i first met you, i thought you had cool shoes.
i told you that i really liked your
purple converse.
you looked at me and you said "thanks."
im not exactly sure how you and
i truly became friends. i remember
telling you about death note and sao, and telling you to watch them because they are amazing animes.
i remember you and i always talking in language arts. ha, and we used to get in trouble for not shutting up.
and then summer came along.
we texted almost everyday.
you and i became good friends.
then in eighth grade you and were always together i guess.
i didnt start to develop feelings for you until cross country. we would sit and talk together before practice, occasionally. my friends started to notice that i was staring at you a lot.
and then you and i stretched together every now and then. not very often.
after cross country, i really started to notice the feelings. and at lunch we sat at tables that were across from each other. ha, I'd always look over and you did too, and we had little staring contests.. i would loose because i couldnt stop laughing. and then you'd laugh too. and i think i really looked forward to those staring contests at lunch. and you and i had gym together. i would walk with you or run with you.
and around Christmas i gave you the card. which contained the question.
you replied on messenger with "hello,
im the doctor." in all honesty i cried.
because i was so happy that you said yes.
and then you and i had technology together. we sat next to each other. and i loved it. i missed you over winter break. and when i saw you i was so happy. and i would hold your arm or put my head on your arm because thats just me.
and then I remember I hugged you for the first time. i loved it.
i miss it.
and then one day near the end of technology, i held your hand. that was the best moment of my life.
i felt something that ive never felt before. it was soft and warm. i felt safe. and you gripped my hand..
i wanted to kiss you right then and there. i wanted to shout out to the world how much i loved you.

and then.. i threw it away. because of my own problems. and im sorry.
i am.