doubt book 1 (josh fanfic)

chapter 9:im sorry

(trigger warning :self harm at the end)

aquas POV

i opened my eyes and noticed josh is not next to me and i looked over and i saw another girl next to me i freaked out

"JO..." i yelped but she covered my mouth before i finished 

"shh im tylers wife jenna, dont worry tyler and josh are talking" 

"is josh ok?" i all ready knew he was not ok because of last night

"i dont think so when josh needs tyler's help its something important"

"oh" i sighed i got out of bed, put on my shoes and left and she followed, i walked but ran into josh

"oh hey josh" i blushed because we were so close

"hey" he backed up and ran into tyler

"damn it tyler" he looked back 

"sorry" tyler walks back to the kitchen to get a redbull

i giggled a little "well i would be walking out to go shoping and donating my moms clothes wanna cone jenna?"

"sure" she smiled and she followed behind me

when we walked outside i saw mark at the side of my eye

"hey bitch" he said smirking at me

"ugh mark what do you want" i looked at him and he got up and walked close to me "i want you"

"uh who's this and are you dating josh because tyler showed me a pic of you two cudding in bed it was so cute" jenna sqeeled

"this is mark and im not with him and yes me and josh are together, lets go jenna" i said while pushing mark away and walking

"ok" she followed me

josh's POV

me tyler just hung out on our phones and i heard tyler giggling and i looked over

"what are you laughing at you sound like a little girl?" i tried to get up off the bed but i just fell on the ground 

"i took a picture of you guys cuddling and posted it on every social media we have" he giggled

"what the heck man"

"hey at least you guys weren't making out" tyler shruged

i just stared at him angerly and laying on the ground "i hate you" i mumbled

"i love you too man" he lauged

"ugh" i laughed while rolling my eyes. i got up and layed back on the bed and desided to text aqua

josh: hey babe

aqua: hey jish

josh: where are you at right now?

aqua: im eating at chick-fil-a with jenna and there ranch is gross D: im gonna die

josh: lol dont die 

aqua: i wont i will stay alive for you ^.^

josh: heh anyway do you mind if me and tyler join you guys we are bored

aqua: sure why not we will wait at chickfila for you guys

(after dinner and that crap XD)

i layed in bed cuddling aqua she felt warm i put my arm around her waist and she put her head on my chest and looked up at me we both blushed. we both passed out in 10 mins or less

_______(trigger warning)

i closed my eyes in shame replaying of what she sid "stupid" "worthless" "i only loved you for the fame" i put my knees to my chest and cried i looked up and saw aqua she picked me up aggenst the wall and kissed me for a minuite then threw me to the ground hard i hit my head and it started bleeding i tried to get up and she kicked my stomach and i just layed there while she crouched down beside me and got ontop of me and pining me down by holdind both of my arms. her nails going deep into my skin i felt the blood fall down my arms tears rolled down my eyes and she disaperred i still had the cuts in my arm and head i saw a knife next to me on the ground i grabed it and started to cut my arms i droped the knife and watched as my tears turned into fire and my arms bleed 

____________

"JOSH" aqua yelled while sitting on top of me and shaking my head "josh! your ok" she hugged me 

"what happened" i asked while looking at my arms there were scratch marks all over 

"josh i heard you sleep talk and i woke up  and i tried waking you up and when i grabed your arm trying to wake you up you moved it away making me scratch them im sorry" i saw a tear roll down her face and i whiped it away she held my neck and kepted me company 

"i love you josh" she whispered

"i love you too" i whipered back 

_________

oh that dream tho is that sexual abuse? i think it is XD well anyway

thx for reading

stay alive