Guiding Her Home | ✔

c h a p t e r - 9

†I wanna sleep next to you
But that's all I wanna do right now
So come over now and talk me down.†
Talk me down ( Troye Sivan )

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Identifying broken people is not easy. They don't come with the tag, "pick me up please, I'm broken."

Unlike broken vase and clocks, they don't stop working. They just mask themselves. But if you try to look closer, only if you notice the way their eyes don't sparkle or the way their smiles is for others; you'll identify them.

The broken ones.

Justin knew that loving her wasn't easy. She had sharp edges that could pierce his heart. Her missing pieces could make him lost. But he didn't back off.

Instead he noticed, the way her shoulders were slumped, and eyes were dead. The way dark circles beneath her eyes were becoming prominent, or the way the gap between her thighs were increasing.

And hell, he was in love with her every broken piece and every flaw.

"I was a daddy's girl." She said, once they sat on the floor of his living room.

Her hands were trembling, her fists were clasped together to help herself by breaking down.

He noticed this too.

Reaching for her hand, he gave it a little squeeze and told her that she didn't have to tell him anything. He didn't need any explanations.

"I don't have to, Justin. But I need to. I need to get it out of my system." She said, with tear filled eyes and a sad smile.

And he noticed that, the sad smiles are the best smiles in the world.

She took a deep breath and adverted her eyes from him as she started telling her story.

"I was the kind of girl, who used to prefer grease on her hand rather than flour messed up cheeks. I had a perfect family. The best dad in world, and a sweet as sugar mother. I used to be really happy." A nostalgic smile spread on her face, as she remembered old times but soon was turned into a frown of sorrow, when she continued;

"But everything went crashing down the day my dad died. I lost my idea of fairy tale. I was only four. I didn't know meaning of death even. I thought he was going to come back...but he didn't." Her voice cracked and tears rolled down her cheeks.

He didn't make move to wipe them 'cause she needed to do it herself. He just sat there, holding her hand.

She picked up her one broken piece, he noticed.

Wiping away her tears, she started again; "with him gone, everything got changed. My life, my priorities and even my mom. Children at school used to bully me, they called me orphan 'cause my dad was dead and mom was barely there. But still, I smiled and tried to fit in my best. However, that wasn't enough for my mom."

Justin wrapped his one arm around her shoulder as she started to shiver at the mention of her mom.

"She used to abuse me a lot. Verbally and physically both. She used to beat me up badly. She took out all pressure of work on me. She blamed me for every shít in our lives. To her, I was worthless. Still, I took all the beatings and scoldings with a smile because I hoped one day; everything will be fine. I took care of her, of our house all on my own. I could never tell anyone about abuse, because she threatened me if I did; then she'll suicide. I didn't want to loose her. She was my mom."

His heart constricted with pain for her. To even think that she had gone through all these, on her own made him want to write a new plot of her life. There no pain will even dare to touch her.

"One day she kicked me with my dad's boots, telling me how much a waste of breath I'm. I couldn't take it. My body was in pain. So I lashed out on her. I raised my voice on her. All my anger from years, I finally voiced it and left my home."

"Sierra..." he tried to calm her down. Her entire body was shaking with tears and she was growing breathless. She shuffled herself closer to him and rested her head on his chest as she concluded her story. The part he was dreading to hear.

"That night, she killed herself. She poisoned herself, leaving behind a letter for me. I couldn't save her...if only I hadn't spoke that day..she-"

He cut her off, by hugging her tightly. Tears streamed down her face and she clung to him for her dearest comfort. It was the first time, she was getting hugged for the losses of her life. And god swear, it felt one more piece of her life fell back to it's puzzle.

"It wasn't your fault." He told her, staring at her eyes.

"Whatever happened in your past, is not your fault baby. It's just your life, which decided to be tough for you. It was your mom's fault to abuse you. It was her decision to die. You didn't do anything love, trust me." He tried to convince her.

And she believed him.

"Your past doesn't defines you. Your scars doesn't makes you ugly. You, my girl, are the most strong and beautiful girl of the world. Please don't think otherwise." He kissed her forehead.

She nodded and closed her eyes in the bliss of his touch.

"Today is her death anniversary. I don't know what made me drive to cliff. It was getting too much Justin...all I wanted to do was die. It hurts so fuckíng much that I can't breathe. I feel so empty..."

Then he hugged her, so tight that it filled all her empty voids back together.

"I won't let you die." He said with a conviction in his voice.

"You didn't." She smiled realising how true he were to his words. Maybe, without him she would have let the demons of her mind kill her.

"Look Sierra, you have to hit bottom to resurface again. Just like the sun has to set to let stars show up. In same way, once life was down for you doesn't means, it always will be. You have to face rain, to witness rainbow. Someday everything will be alright." He kept murmuring words of strength in her ears and that acted as lullaby for her.

Maybe broken beyond repair; but she was gluing herself back again.

"You always asked why I don't speak to you," she traced the lines of his face sleepily.

Her heart felt warm and body light weight, as she put all her scars on display to him.

"Once I spoke; I lost my mom. So I keep silent, especially around you 'cause I don't want to loose you."

There.

She showed him all her scars.

And hoped, he wouldn't run away.

She was still giving him a chance to escape; he noticed.

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