Dear High School, You Suck

Chapter 9: Couldn't

Friends.

I've never been one to have so many. I could only have five, never more.

It's a bitch to find people that actually care about you.

But once you find them you can't help but hold on to them or they can't help stick to you like dry gum.

I had trouble understanding what I exactly did wrong. I know I made some bad choices that night. But I couldn't help and think, I wasn't the one to post videos of me making a fool of myself or confessing  embarrassing things.

I stood in the cafeteria. People didn't care whether or not I felt humiliated about the video. They only cared about having a laugh about it.

About me.

That day I lost my name. I was no longer Daniel Ortiz.

I was that kid.

If I knew what was going to happen next, I would've stayed in the cafeteria and enjoyed my embarrassment.

But of course I couldn't.

I had to follow Al like an obssesed idiot.

I looked around before heading out of the dreadful place. Everyone was either staring or laughing at the guy that had been rejected by Alisson Bosch.

I was in the hall when I saw her entering the girl's bathroom.

"Al wait!"

She ignored me.

I looked around the halls to find them empty. They were always like that in lunch. But somehow, hearing the echo of the door slam throughout the hall way made me feel anxious.

What am I gonna say anyway?

I pushed the girl's bathroom door open slowly, hoping for her to be the only one there.

I heard some sobs in one of the stools and made my way to it.

I hate it when she cries.

"Al? It's me." I rested my forehead against the door of the stool, waiting for her to answer.

"Al what did I do wrong? "

I heard her murmur a soft "nothing" trough the door.

"Al there wasn't anything I said that night that you didn't already know."

Silence filled the bathroom as I waited painfully for her to say something.

"I just... don't want things... to... to change between us. You know?" She said in between sniffs.

I've always known  this. It wasn't a shock for me to hear this from Alisson. If I were a sane person I would have forced myself to stop thinking about her like anything more than a friend.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't help stare at her longer than usual or explore her sentences, searching for deeper meanings in them. I couldn't help wonder what was going on inside her head most of the time. I couldn't help wanting to keep talking to her and hoping the conversation never stopped or listen to her talking about things she didn't understand. I knew she didn't stare at me longer than usual or wonder about my stupid thoughts or explore my stupid sentences...