LONE WOLF (On Hold)

Chapter 4 - Two weeks.

Chapter 4 – Two weeks.

Beck's POV

I wake up choking, grasping at my throat as I struggle to breathe, and it takes me a while to realise that it was just a dream.

It was just a dream, I think to myself to try and calm down. It doesn't work, though, as my hands are still shaking and my eyes quickly fill with unshed tears.

It was just a dream.

Yeah, it was just a dream, so pull yourself together, dumbass, I then tell myself, trying to force the tears back as I ball my hands into fists by my side.

It was just a dream, but it was definitely worse than the one I had the night before.

God, that sucked.

Okay. Okay, I'm okay.

I pull myself into a sitting position on the grass, a slight shudder running through me as I take a deep breath in.

Yeah, that really sucked.

Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rest my forehead against them and continue to breathe in and out to try and slow my heart rate.

I had a dream about what life was like with my father after my mother died. It was the first time I told him that I didn't want to go back to rogue camp; it was the first and the last time I ever told him that. It was the first time I've ever honestly felt like I was really about to die; it definitely wasn't the last time I've felt like that, though. Kailen really was a monster.

And you're just like him, the small voice of doubt pipes up, making me feel ten times more like a piece of shit than I already do.

Sighing, I lift my head from my knees.

It's true, though. I am a monster, I was brought up to be one and I'm not sure how to be anything else. All those stories my mother used to tell me as a child are complete bullshit. My curse isn't going to be lifted once I find my Belle; there is no Beauty out there for me. I'm a beast, through and through.

Life really does suck ass sometimes.

After a few more minutes, I decide that I should probably start getting ready to move. It must be late morning by now, meaning the charity shops should be open for me to get some new jeans.

Grabbing my bag, I quickly eat a few biscuits for breakfast before getting changed into some clean clothes. Well, my last clean T-shirt and a new pair of boxers, at least. My worn out jeans, obviously, are going have to stay for a little bit longer.

After stuffing my dirty clothes back into my backpack, I sit down and pull on my trusty combat boots.

Lucy thinks that I should own more than just one pair of shoes (which I find a little bit hypocritical what with her and her converse) but I don't really see the point. It'd just be another thing for me to have to carry with me whenever I'm on the road, especially as there's a high chance that they wouldn't both fit in my bag.

Once I've got my shoes on, I sling my backpack onto my back and start walking.

It doesn't take me long to get to the charity shops and, when I do, I swiftly push the door open to one of them and step in. There are bits and bobs everywhere, dotted along shelves and tables that line the walls and group together in the middle of the room.

The girl behind the counter looks up from her magazine as I enter, her brown hair up in a high ponytail. I can't be certain, because I wasn't paying much attention yesterday, but I'm fairly sure that it's the same girl from the corner shop. I can practically feel her eyes following as I head to the back corner of the shop, where the clothes racks are, and I sigh as I come to the realisation that I'm going to have to use my money again.