On My Own

Epilogue

I watched from my spot, tucked under Owen's arm on the sofa. Kota had my legs draped over top of his own, and Luke was sitting on the floor in front of us. He had my hand captured in his own. We were currently watching Anastasia, one of the many movies I'd never gotten to see because of the family I'd grown up in.

Hope sat in North's lap. Gabriel is sitting next to them, gently tugging her hair into submission. As soon as he finishes, he undoes his work and starts over again. Right now he's making a crown out of her blonde curls.

The rest of the boys are strewn out all over the room, and most of them- despite the answer they'd give if asked, are thoroughly pulled into the movie.

I glance back at the screen as Anastasia tries to jump over the edge of the ship.

"Should we be letting Hope watch this?" North grumps, pulling her closer to his chest.

Gabriel huffs as he moves to accommodate her new position, and continues braiding and molding.

Victor tilts his head, eyes never leaving the screen. "It's supposed to be a princess movie.. I didn't know Disney ever went as dark as this movie seems to go.."

"Oy Fucker, it's not even disney, get your fucking shit straight."

Victor's fire eyes settle on Gabriel, he looks perplexed.

Nathan laughs on the other side of North. "Well he's right, it's not Disney. It's Fox."

Hope claps. "Fucker." The word slips out of her two year old mouth, and washes over the room like a sobering fog.

To my complete surprise, Owen doesn't kill Gabriel. Instead he grins down at her with a proud Daddy smile. Until she came into our lives, his expression ranged from controlled anger to sight joy. I think Hope broke him out of his bubble of emotions. In fact, the first time she tried to walk only to fall down and split her lip on the coffee table, he ordered the boys to burn the table and barely put her down as her lip healed.

North is the one to break the spell, as he coos softly to the little girl in his arms. "That's right, all boys are fuckers and we don't like them, do we?"

Luke snorts. "Of course you'd use this to your 'boys are the enemy' campaign."

North glares at his brother, "You're damn right I will. She's never having a boyfriend, ever."

There's a few muttered agreements, including Owen. The only ones who think they're mad are Gabriel, Luke, and Sean. Gabriel mostly just wants to dress her up for dates and dances, while Luke and Sean are just hopeless romantics.. They want to see how many hearts she can break.

I watch them all bicker for a bit before slowly settling back down for the movie. In the two years since Hope was born, I slowly let the boys back in. I wanted them to be all present, for Hope at least. With my memories, brought my suppressed feelings. But those were feelings I'd caught before I lost my memory, before I was forced to discover myself.

It hadn't been easy, in fact, there were a few times that I'd thought it to be impossible. But true to their Academy training, and my newfound stubbornness, we found ourselves within each other. It's not always perfect, and there's never a dull moment, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Ugh I'm hungry," I mumbled while stretching out.

Luke's head falls back as he looks up at me. "Chocolate chip pancakes?"

North scoffs across the room, but Hope adores them and he'd never yell about something she likes. He did once, and made her cry, and hasn't had the heart to again. Luke of course takes advantage whenever he can. I wrinkle my nose in disgust at the idea of chocolate chip pancakes. Just the idea makes me want to...

I suddenly still and sit up, pulling away from my boys and pressing a hand to my head.

I love chocolate chip pancakes...

I gag a little.

All of the boys are hyper aware of me now, staring in my direction with hints of worry and confusion.

"Aggele what's wrong? Doc?"

Sean is staring at me with wonder.

I meet his eyes and Kota gasps a little, probably doing the math side of things.

"I'm late."

Nathan makes a face, "Peanut we aren't doing anything today but movies, what could you be late for?"

I glance over at Hope. "Anyone got a pee stick so I can see if Hope is going to be a big sister?" I asked, though it wasn't needed.

Gabriel's eyes lit up, and he spoke over everyone. "Oy Trouble, can you make a boy this time? Oh! How about twins, that'd be fucking fantastic. No wait- triplets, oh shit I want another girl. I can't decide. I want boy twins and girl twins but I also want a boy girl twin duo, but I also just want a boy, fuck me. I can't decide."

Sean smacked the back of Gabriel's head. "It doesn't work like that," he said, eyes twinkling.

Owen dragged me over into his lap. His expression mirrored everyone else's. Joy. Fear. Excitement. Love.

I glanced over at Hope and smiled, opening my arms. She giggled and ran over, North looked slightly betrayed but was smiling anyways. Her big eyes met mine, their color being a clear indicator on who her father was. "Hi momma."

It was times like this, when her big trusting eyes landed on mine, when she called me momma and hugged me with all the love in her little body, that it really hit home.

This is my family, and we might fight, but I'd die before I let it fall apart like the one I'd had to grow up with.