sophia looked at her calendar and sighed. it was finally the day she had been dreading all year.
the one year anniversary of her former best friend kalani hilliker's death.
sophia gingerly picked up a bouquet of daisies that she had bought the other day and texted jordyn jones, her closest friend left.
s: hey, jones.
j: you ready?
s: as ready as i'll ever be
j: okay, i'm omw
sophia slid her cell phone into her left side pocket and walked outside.
the sky was partially cloudy and the wind held a slight breeze. sophia plopped down onto her front porch step and propped her head up on her fist.
her long and straight chocolate brown hair fluttered in the wind. she clutched the small bouquet of flowers she had assembled tighter in her grasp.
it pained her to think about kalani, yet she did it all the time. kalani was her best friend since birth, since their own mothers had been best friends, too.
they had went through everything together. it made sophia feel so horribly guilty that kalani committed suicide because she didn't even realize that kalani was ever unhappy.
"i should have been there for her," sophia whispered as silent tears slipped down her cheeks.
she heard a loud honk and looked up. jordyn had just pulled up and was waving at her.
sophia quickly wiped her face with the grey sleeves of her sweatshirt and blinked the oncoming tears away: jordyn might not have seen her crying yet and she wanted to keep it that way.
the petite brunette stood up and swung her purse over her shoulder. she opened jordyn's car door and hopped into the passenger seat.
"hey." sophia said quietly.
jordyn gave her a sympathetic smile. "hey. how are you holding up?"
sophia couldn't help but glare at jordyn. "how do you think i'm holding up?" sophia snapped, running a hand through her hair.
jordyn put her arms up defensively. "okay, okay. sorry." she said casually.
the car ride got quiet. sophia stared absently out the window and jordyn concentrated on driving.
finally, jordyn sighed, ending the rather uncomfortable silence.
she briefly flickered her warm brown eyes over to look at sophia. "soph, you know it wasn't your fault. there's nothing you could have done about it." jordyn reasoned.
"i could have saved her." sophia said softly. her voice was almost inaudible.
"what's done is done. you can't change the past, and you certainly can't keep dwelling on it like you did for this past year. it's beginning to concern me now, sophia. you never leave your home anymore." jordyn continued, frowning.
sophia looked down at her scuffed up shoes and said nothing. when sophia didn't bother to reply, jordyn just turned all her attention back to driving.
sophia had always been so confused on how well jordyn could mask her emotions. she'd never seen her cry once, not even when her father had died.
jordyn had been also been close with kalani at one point, but didn't ever show signs of mourning in front of anyone.
she was always so calm about everything, and sometimes, like right now, it frustrated sophia.
because sophia was a mess. she couldn't go an hour without thinking about kalani and grieving. her brain would whirl around, like a gear turning in her head that kept her thoughts going; and kalani had a permanent spot reserved in the back of sophia's brain at all times.
it told her things like "it's all your fault she's dead" and "if you'd just stayed home kalani would still be here".
it tormented her everyday of her life. why would kalani do this to herself? it wasn't anything like her. she had never shown a single sign of depression. at least, the kalani sophia thought she knew.
the car slowed to a stop, snapping sophia back to reality. they had arrived at the cemetery.
sophia stepped out of the car with the arrangement of daisies in her hand. her black combat boots crunched the leaves under her feet.
jordyn appeared by sophia's side as they walked down the stony path to kalani's grave.
kalani's tombstone soon came into view and sophia stopped moving. it was the first time she'd been here since her funeral, a year ago.
she knew as soon as she stood in front of the tomb, all of her tears would spill. but at this point, she didn't care. she needed to see the grave again.
mustering up enough courage, sophia proceeded to approach her best friend's grave.
Here lies Kalani Brooke Hilliker,
Daughter of Kira and Matthew.
Friend to all.
sophia broke down as soon as she reached the stone. she had held it in for as long as possible.
jordyn quickly wrapped her in a comforting hug, and sophia sobbed into her shoulder.
after minutes had gone by, sophia's tears had slowed to a minimum and she opened her eyes.
sophia broke apart from jordyn's embrace and thanked her.
bending down, sophia neatly placed the flowers she was carrying on her grave.
while setting them down, something else on kalani's grave caught her eye.
a small slip of ripped paper. intrigued, she picked it up. reading it, it said:
sorry, kalani.
i always win.
-
according to mindy's dad
daisies are the flower of death.
+ sorry this is so long heheh whoops
