I'm amber. I was born on January 5 2001. I'm a small boy, lonely and almost always depressed or fucking up. And this is my story and how it ended.
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The first time I cut was after I fell in love for the first time . After my first time having sex . The boys name was jake . He said he loved me, said he'd never leave me . And he did . I walked home after school that day and grabbed a knife. I ran into the bathroom and I sliced into my thigh. I watched the crimson liquid drip out of the cut. And I felt so good, I felt like all of my pain was gone . And I cut again and again. When I was finished I looked in the mirror across for me. I had 12 cuts on my thigh. I was sitting in a small pool of blood and my eyes were red from crying. After I cleaned the bathroom I got into the shower and sat on the shower floor. I knew I fucked up. I followed the stream of blood washing down the drain. And with it the last of my hope. The last of my fight to live this shitty life, the last of my self love and the desire to take care of my appearance. The trial of red flowing down the drain took not only the blood coming out of my wounds , it also took everything that makes me feel happy and safe . And I was an empty shell of a person. A person who to them, the feelings of loneliness and hurt are part of there everyday life. Where is normal and they feel nothing else but that. Lonely and hurt .
