You found me by the fray plays through my earphones as I stare at the show covered trees flying past the car. I shift my eyes to the rear view mirror and meet my moms eyes . I push my newly dyed black hair out of my face. Her eyes are filled with worry and stress as she studies my face. I give her a weak smile and decide to pick at my dark nail polish instead of taking out my earphones and talking to her and my step mom like I know I should. My eyes flicker to look at my phone as it pings . Pick it up from beside me . It's Jo, my best friend " hey hun, having a good road trip to Edmonton?" I start to type a reply to her and decide to send a sad emoji. "What's wrong!" . I reply with thinking of him, knowing I fucked up I mute her texts so I don't have to deal with her questions About it . I look out the window and let my eyes close as the song switches to kiss me by the fray.
.......
Jake grabs me as he falls into the pile of leaves , his tall frame breaks my fall as I twist so I'm facing him .His eyes meet mine and I peck his lips, he deepens the kiss. I pull away after a few seconds. "what are you doing?" I chuckle out as he moves my auburn hair out of my face . " I wanna see your gorgeous face baby boy!" I blush and roll beside him, I reach out my hand and he takes it. I'm pulled up and held against his hard chest . He sways slowly and I know what he wants, I move away from him slightly and look up at him. He holds up his hand and I take it. He slowly waltzes around the backyard, I twirl and return to him . He chuckles as he picks me up and spins, then puts me down gently. I can't help the huge smile that comes across my face when my eyes meet his again. A strong wind blows through the pile of leaves, blowing them around us. It feels like a movie scene as we look into each other's eyes with multi coloured leaves swirling around us." I love you amber" jake whispers out and I crane my neck to kiss him ......
I wake up suddenly , the song still playing in my ears. I close my eyes tightly to will the tears away. Just the thought of him hurts like a million knifes stabbing at my heart all at once.
I can't believe it still hurts me , everyone said I'd be over him in a few weeks. But no one knows how much he meant to me. He was my world , he made me happy and he gave me a motivation to wake up everyday and face the world because I knew I'd be facing it with him. And when he left me I felt lost and broken from what he said to me . And no one knows how I felt , how empty I felt without him. I didn't know how to cope with that much stress and it didn't help I had to see him everyday because he was in my school. And I still long for him, for his touch, his gentleness toward me . No one has made me feel like he did . And it makes me think I'll never be happy again.
