Just like falling asleep, I don't remember waking up, but I do know it's still night by the dark if my room. Of course getting a full nights rest would have been nice, but for now, I'm still tired, and falling back asleep is no more than impossible. Waking up, however, I remembered dreaming of her voice, and now awake, it begins to drive me crazy not being able to hold onto it. Thinking of ways that would allow me to hear it again, I almost instantly go for my phone. It's been a while since I've been on my phone and so I have to click past all of my missed calls and messages before I'm able to dial her number that I came to know by heart.
Ringing, I knew she wasn't going to answer, but I guess either way, I sort of hoped she would. Instead her voicemail came up, different from what it used to be.
"Hello," her voice cuts in; shaky. "If you're listening to this, than I guess someone truly does care." She lets out a small, forced laugh; a pause. "Anyway, i want to start off by saying that I'm okay and safe. Next thing, is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you, and no, not verbally but emotionally; lying through some made-up smile or empty laugh. It was my mask." She clears her throat; another pause. "You see, I'm currently fighting with anxiety and depression and I can't dream. I thought that, maybe if I left, looked around, I could find something to dream about; a state of peace." She stops, the sound of her heavy breath the only thing audible from her end of the line. I knew that whatever she says next was going to be important and much harder for her to say, so I waited.
"I know no one, but one person us listening to this, and I know exactly who it is. I'm sorry I left like this, I wanted you to come with me but I never could have asked you to drop everything for me." I sense her smile. "I love you and I've only ever loved you; will only ever love you. No one else matters to me as much as you do; my heart belongs to you, and only you." Her voice falls, her smile wavering. "I'll never forget you, but I hope you can come to forget me. I know me leaving like this has impacted you the lost and I would be the one to to hurt you; I always wanted to be the one to protect you." Her voice became wet and choppy and I knew she had already started crying. "If you could just forget me, you could move on; live on. Knowing you, you're going to put up some kind of fight, and I don't want it to be one. Do it for me... please?" She lets out a silent sob, the sound of her voice growing messier. "It's killing me-" The line clicks dead, and only when it does, do I realize I am crying. My legs begin to shake as they start to cave in from under me. That's when I fall, the ground catching me as I curl up against myself; my arms empty without her to hold.
If I close my eyes, I can imagine her almost perfectly; smiling and pointing out everything that catches her eyes; laughing her familiar laugh that echoes in the abandoned area that she claims as hers. Seeing her now, I always remember how I'd watch her and think of how she was beautiful in ways not even a camera could catch. Now I wonder if she waits for me somewhere, a smile on her lips and her eyes bright as they reflect the sun; arms held open to me.
YOU ARE READING
Becoming Found #1
Short StoryWhat would you do if you woke up one day and the person you loved so dearly was gone?
