Homophobic (l.s)

Chapter 17

The awkward silence between Harry and the psychologist is almost too much to handle. He can only thank his lucky stars that Anne had given him enough privacy to let him go in alone. But honestly, even without her here it's just as awkward. The psychologist is a woman, around her mid 40's. She's eyeing Harry carefully, and quickly writing down in her notebook. Harry is the first to speak.

"So, what do you want to know?"

The psychologist tilts her head and smiles at herself once Harry speaks. He clenches his jaw and crosses his arm. He can't help but narrow his eyes at her as she goes to speak.

"Tell me about why you think you're here today Harry,"

"Because my mother forced me. You should know this,"

"Well yes I do know that your mum is really concerned for you. But what's making her concerned? If you're not comfortable talking about it then I completely understand. We can talk about anything that you like,"

Harry has to stop for a minute and think about the situation. He could either not say a single word and be forced back here every week for the same issue, or just let it all out and get this over and done with. There's things that Harry doesn't want to talk about, things that involve Louis. He inhales deeply, preparing himself to talk.

"Before you say anything Harry, I just want you to know that everything we talk about in here today is completely confidential. I am not allowed to share the information with anyone unless I believe you are putting yourself or others in danger, okay? I want you to feel comfortable in telling me about how you're feeling and what you're dealing with. I am here to help you,"

"Okay. Well. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of around 2 years. He was erm, really abusive. He used to hurt me and mentally abuse me because I wasn't ready to...sleep with him. He wasn't abusive at the start, he was really lovely. And I wasn't ready to give myself up like that, and he was pressuring me. And I still didn't give in, and he didn't like it. So, he really hurt me and I decided to leave,"

"What did he do to you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well. He punched me, kicked me, pushed me. Pretty much anything you can think of really. He didn't sexually assault me. I mean, he's touched me. But I was always clothed. I defended myself when he tried," Harry swallowed hard, and looked at the ground. He could feel his face starting to burn.

He notices the woman quickly writing down in her book. Her writing is messy as she tries to write down what he's said.

"Do you still see him?"

"Nick? No. I haven't seen him since he came after me trying to get me back. He got me home alone and attacked me. I really thought I wasn't going to make it out alive at that point. I texted...a friend and they got me out safely,"

"So, your friend saved you?" She looks at Harry, her brown eyes watching him attentively.

"Yeah. I'm grateful for that. But since that, I've just sort of become a shell of myself. I don't really want to do anything. I just feel really empty, and useless. My mum thinks I'm depressed but I'm just tired. I just want to be left alone to process everything that has happened,"

"It's normal for someone to withdraw after such a traumatic event. However, sitting in bed all day and not talking to friends and going out will make things worse for you. Because you will be assessing the situation over, and over. It will be on your mind constantly and it will devour you. When was the last time you saw your friends?"

"A while I guess. I don't really involve them as it's my issues and I don't want to drag them down. I see them at school. They're worried about me too,"