•1 Fanmail

72 5 3
                                    

From: Bella

Dear Troye,
Thank you so much for everything. You really helped me with your music, video's and all the love you spread. Thank you. I love you.
Love,
Bella

That's cute.

From: Sebastian

Loveliest Troye,
I'm so happy to tell you that after years and years of struggling I finally came out to my parents. They reacted so nice and I can't describe to you how much you helped me with this process. Thank you so much. I couldn't have done it without you.
Love,
Yours sincerely,
Sebas

Isn't it wonderful how I can help people so much through this weird thing called 'The Internet'? Isn't that great?

I took a sip of my coffee.

From: Mary

Dear Tro,
Last week I came out to my parents, but they got mad at me. Now I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost and I finally thought I could tell them. They told me that I can stay at their house for 2 more months, but after that I need to move. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. Help me, please. I'm totally lost.
Love you,
Mary

I started tearing up. How am I supposed to react to this? I can't help her. I can't let her live in my house, even if I wanted to.

I emailed her the adres, phone numbers, emailadresses from LGBTQ+ communities and help-lines, hoping that would help. I sent her all my love and strength too.

Reading things like this made me feel sad. People aren't supposed to be treated like this.

From: Bram
Troye!
I love your video's and music so much! Thanks for everything!
Ly!
Bram

Messages like this make me smile. It's so sweet, people are just telling me they love me because I do what I love the most.

From: Catherine

Dear Troye.
I'm scared, Troye.
About 2 or 3 years ago thoughts were popping up in my mind. 'Why have I never fallen in love?' 'Why have I never had a boyfriend?' 'Do I like girls?' 'Do I like boys?'.
I didn't know.
I began struggling. Days of fear, nights of tears. I was thinking the worst things.
Your video's made me accept myself. Your music means so much to me, it made me wanting the person I am, instead of the one I pretend to be.
But I'm still scared.
When I realised I feel highly attracted to both girls and boys, the first thing I thought was: how the hell am I going to tell that to my parents?
My mom once said "I don't get how you can bisexual at the age of 16. You're not 'experienced' enough. It's such bullshit".
I already knew I was not straight when she said that. I didn't react.
But that night I cried my eyes out.
If she thinks it's bullshit, how am I ever going to be able to come out to her?
She once said: "If you or your sister turns out to be gay, I'd immediately accept it. But I'd find it difficult. The loads of hate it'll bring too"
And I know she is right, but when you just figured out that you are bisexual, this isn't really what you want to hear, honestly.
I'm so happy to see you being the person you are. I'm so happy you already came out and accept yourself. You're really an inspiration to me.
Thanks for everything you've done for me. Thank you. I'll love you forever.
Love,
Catherine

I don't know why, but this one got me in tears the most. I don't know why it did so much to me. For example, Mary, was in so much more shit then this girl, because Catherine's parents probably won't kick her out, but it's just that I relate so much.
I once was closeted too, just like her. And I was scared too. And I scanned everything my parents said searching for hints about how they thought about sexuality and especially homosexuality.

I was crying.

I couldn't help it but being all sad.

I replied to her that I'd be all fine, and that she should come out when she felt ready, even if she had to wait for 10 years.

I shut down my computer and stared outside the window.

I decided to take a walk on the beach.

I put on my flip-flops, picked up my phone, earphones and keys and went out the door.
I put on a playlist and decided to try and not think too much about everything.

I crossed the road and walked to the beach. I watched carefully at my feet, trying not to fall while walking over the rocks and sand. My nails were painted light blue, matching my dark blue flip-flops perfectly.

What if you just ran away? I thought. What if we run away from everything, leave everything behind. Would people care? I'm sure my mom would, but other people. The neighbours?
I don't know.
Maybe, just maybe, they would. But probably not.

I have a lot of friends, you know. At school, mostly. They all don't give a shit about the fact that I'm gay. But some people do, they hate me for it.

This group of people in my class, for example. They call me names, they spit on me. They beat me up. They hate me.
I got used to it.
I don't care about all that anymore.

While walking I saw a bird. Long story short: it was dead.
That reminded me of something: people die and things die and we will all die and that sucks but we can't do anything about it so we'd better enjoy every single second of our life instead of overthinking everything because in an eye blink it can all be over.

At the end of my walk, I got to a conclusion:

People suck, but I love them so much at the same time.

Blue human (Tronnor Fanfic)Where stories live. Discover now