I clicked the notification and took a look at his Instagram page. He had over 1 million followers, and honestly, I understand why. It was literally the most beautiful Instagram I'd ever seen.
I looked at his recent picture, a picture of a tree. Guess what? It was my tree.
"Perth sucks but there are nice trees in here 🌳🌸" was the caption.
That made me sad because I was hoping that Connor would be a little happier about Perth etcetera because I invited him over. But he thinks it sucks.
I put down my phone and picked up my laptop. I started editing the Q&A I filmed yesterday. It literally was the most boring video ever, but I still uploaded it.
After that I picked up my phone again to admire Connor from afar. Some people call it stalking.
Most of the comments were 'rxr' 'f4f' '3x3', what made me feel weird, because, look at the caption. The boy is clearly sad, so the comments made no sense. Why are people so rude?
I decided to comment something nice, because I thought it might cheer him up a bit, even though he probably would never read it, because of the loads of comments he gets.
"Looking forward to show you how nice Perth can be, see you soon 🏡💙" was what I decided to comment. He'd probably never ever see it.
I put my phone away again and decided to make myself some food. My parents wouldn't come home tonight, so I'd be home alone.
I made myself pancakes, wich I covered with (maybe a little too much) Nutella. I was scrolling through YouTube while eating, and watched some video's.
I came across a video of Ricky Dillon. "EATING PLAY-DOUGH feat. Connor", it was called. (A/N I know that's on Connors channel. Pls still love me) The thumbnail was obviously Connor, like, Connor Franta from my class Connor. Connor Franta from my tree Connor. I clicked it and watched the video. It was hilarious and I hadn't laughed this hard since PINOF 6. Connor acted so cute and was just a bundle of happiness. Apperently he knew Ricky from school, since Ricky said Connor didn't have a YouTube channel. He pushed him to get one though.
So I admired Connor from afar on YouTube for the whole evening. He turned out to have a few collabs with Kian, Jc, Ricky and Trevor, but besides that nothing. Not even a public account I could admire from afar. (Some people call it stalking).
I was hesitating to confront him with the video's, but decided to do it later. Maybe this weekend? I don't know. I don't want to be rude.
When it was about 2am I decided to go to sleep. School tomorrow. I like school, don't get me wrong, but it's just so ex.haus.ting.
•
I can't sleep. It's about 3.30am and I've been awake for an hour and a half. Just overthinking my life and overdramathising it too. I go on YouTube again, bc nobody is awake and I just watch some Miranda Sing video's to become a little happier. It works. I get more tired and feel myself falling asleep, and I feel it's too late to put my phone away. I fall asleep with my phone in my hand, wich I notice when I wake up.
I got about 4 hours of sleep this night, wich I do not really appreciate this moment. I have to get out of my bad, shower, dress myself, eat breakfast, walk to school, and function like a human being. Love life. I'm just tired and I want to sleep.
I put on some music and decide to hurry a bit, so that I wouldn't be late.
At school Connor ignores me. He pretends like I'm air. It disappoints me, but I get it. Kevin is hella intimidating.
At least Kevin leaves me alone today too.
Alexis and I are in a heated discussion about the colour of roses. I like white roses the best, Alexis prefers the red ones. Melanie blends in the discussion and suggests to paint white roses red, so that we'd both win an stop yelling: "Literally everybody in this cafetaria can hear your discussion, and since you guys are my friends it's embarrassing for me too. Thanks." And she sits down next to us. I think of the roses in my tree. Those are white too. Connor would prefer white ones too.
I look at the other side of the cafetaria, where Kevin and friends sit. Connor is there too, he looks a little bit afraid, but laughs at the right times, I guess. He looks at me, and I wave at him, as subtle as possible. He winks at me in reply, I think he assumed that waving would be too obvious.
Kevin looks at me too now, and I quickly look away, pretending to talk to Alexis again. Alexis is a little younger then the rest of us, but she hangs out with us during lunch and after school. She's friends with my brother too, so Tyde and I always have fights about who's her best friend (all jokes ofcourse).
I duffer through maths class, while the table next to Connor is empty. I want to sit there so bad, but I'm next to Melanie and I don't won't to leave her alone, and I don't want to get Connor into any trouble because he's sitting next to me. Major teenage social problems, people.
When I get home, 5 minutes later I see Connor walking by again. He stops at my tree, and he pretends to take a picture while looking at me. I wave at him, and he waves back, shaking. I imidieatly run to the door, asking him in for coffee again. He comes in, still shaking.
He kicks out his shoes with some struggle and gives me a small smile.
He walks after me to the kitchen, where I give him a cup of coffee.
"Connor, what's wrong?" I ask him.
He sights.
I just hope he wants to tell me.
