So I just left.
Who even cares?
Nobody loves me.
Everybody hates me.
I hate this.
I hate this school.
I hate this town.
I don't care that I'd show Connor Perth tomorrow.
I'm leaving.
I hate everything.
Life sucks.
I want to die.
It's not because of what happened, but of what's going to happen.
I don't care about my fucking YouTube channel.
I don't care about my fucking EP that's coming up.
I don't care about my fucking friends, who probably hate me anyways.
I don't care about my fucking siblings.
I don't care about my parents.
I don't even care about my fucking self.
I hate myself.
I hate me.
I hate it.
I'm so done. I'm. So. Fucking. Done.
Whoever decided this can die.
I don't want it. I do absolutely, in not any way, want this. I hate this and I don't want it.
So I'm leaving.
Leaving seems the best thing to do.
•
I'm slowly falling asleep on the cold stones when I feel someone's breath near my ear. I hear a loud noise.
I feel pain struck through my body. I feel nothing.
•
It's my own fault.
I shouldn't have invited Connor over at our table for lunch.
I shouldn't have been wearing nailpolish.
I shouldn't have been gay.
I should've been like Sage, the perfect daughter, with lots of friends, and she's so pretty and so smart. And she has such a cute boyfriend.
I'm just stupid, dumb, ugly me.
And those stupid tears running down my fucking cheeks.
I deserve it though.
I deserve to be sad like this.
I deserve it that no one likes me.
I deserve it to be beaten up over and over again.
I deserve it.
I deserve it.
I deserve it.
•
I wake up because the early morning sun I touching my skin. I take my phone of my jeans, it's 19%. Fml.
I see that Connor posted on Instagram:
"The tree of the boy I'm seeing later today. I'm exited :))"
Oh God I have to get out of here. I have to see Connor. How could I be so stupid??
What is wrong with me.
Oh God I have to go to Connor.
How do I get to Connor?
Where am I?
Wait.
Where the fuck am I?
Where. The fuck. Am I?
I open Google Maps and look at my location.
Let's keep it simple: I'm not even close to Perth.
This was not planned and I have no idea how to get home.
I can't walk. I don't remember everything exactly, but my back hurts a whole lot and I can barely walk.
I could call Connor, but wouldn't that be weird?
I could do it though.
I could do it.
