I'll Cover You

Chapter 16

It had been about two weeks since Cosette had last spoken to Marius, and Cosette had not been taking it very well. She felt lost without the guiding hand of her Marius. All she ever did was remain in bed, counting the hours until night had returned. Within her bed, her mind had become a time portal through which she would remember all the times she had with Marius. She would smile at the good times, and tear up at the sad times. Then, as she got close to picturing the last time she had seen his heartbroken face, she would push it away as fast as possible. She just could not bring herself to remembering Marius's hurt expression, but she thought that she was doing what was best for him. This way he could surround himself with more sophisticated and emotionally stable people, not like the uncivilized beast she had portrayed herself to be.

During this time, Cosette had done her best to avoid the bar for multiple reasons. The first was to keep her promise to Marius. Even if she was no longer seeing him, her heart and life was still within his possession. She had already broken his heart. She could not break their covenant. Along with that, she was trying her hardest to avoid running into Grantaire while there. Cosette did not want to even think of the man's name after what they had apparently done. As the days flew by, her mind began to pick up a few of the shattered pieces of the night in question. However, the portrait was still blurry. The only things she could remember were the rather gruesome details. The details that she really didn't wish to dwell upon.

Upon one evening, Cosette heard a rapping on her front door. She forced herself up, and began to shuffle towards the door. She had not bothered to get changed, or to even view herself in the mirror. Whoever had come to interrupt her self-wallowing would have to also deal with the bird's nest that had replaced her golden curls and wrinkled night gown that she had not changed out of for weeks. She slowly approached the door, and pondered who could possibly be outside. As Cosette cracked open the door a bit, she was surprised to see who was at the door. It was Grantaire.

Grantaire shifted his weight awkwardly, and pulled a hand out of his pocket to wave. He greeted Cosette, "Hello Cosette."

Cosette's eyes narrowed a bit. The last time she had spoken to Grantaire was a memory that she did not want to bring forth into her mind. Her words cut deeply, "If you're looking for a sleeping partner, you can count me out." She began to shut the door, but it was stopped by the man's hand.

"That is not what this is about," he answered back, "May I please come in?"

Cosette hesitated, but then reluctantly opened the door wider to allow Grantaire in. As he walked inside, Cosette noticed something different about him. He seemed more put together since the last time she had laid eyes upon him, and he was not doused with the pungent aroma of wine. The changes were not all positive though. As he turned to sit on the couch, Grantaire had a tired expression painted upon his face. This was a face that Cosette was all too accommodated with, as she had once bore the same expression. It was obvious he had not been drinking for a while.

Cosette sat next to Grantaire, and shifted her weight upon the couch. What was she suppose to say? Despite the fact that they had slept together, she knew absolutely nothing about Grantaire. She was simply waiting for him to break the awkward silence between them to find out what was going on.

Grantaire finally broke the silence, "So Cosette... About the thing that happened..."

Cosette stopped him, "It was a mistake Grantaire. I was drunk out of my mind. That's all. It's not going to happen again."

Grantaire sighed sadly, "That was what I was afraid of... Cosette, what happened between you and me... I was kind of hoping it would be more than a one night stand."

"Yeah," Cosette replied, "you made that pretty clear the last time I saw you."

"The last time you saw me it came out all wrong. I wasn't just looking for a fuck buddy... When I met you that night, you had shown me such kindness, despite just meeting me and being extremely drunk. I thought that the night we had shared, along with being very fun for me, was the start of something for the both of us. Then, I woke up, and you had left... You have no idea how much that hurt me. When I saw you with Marius, I had a bit of hope that maybe you and me had a chance... Long story short, I believe that I have fallen in love with you Cosette, and I was hoping that you might take a chance on me. That's why I might look so tired. I've been trying to give up on my drinking... For you."

Cosette could not believe everything that Grantaire had said. In love? With her? They barely knew each other. On the other hand, she had barely known Marius before she had begun developing feelings for him... And her and Grantaire had done something rather big together. It wasn't completely impossible.

Grantaire placed a hand on Cosette's, "Please Cosette. Give me a chance." He moved closer to her, and pressed his lips gently to hers, hoping it would help to change her mind. Maybe if he kissed her, Cosette would forget about Marius, and want to be with him.

And for a moment, Cosette thought it might too. Grantaire was certainly an expert in this trade. Maybe it was good that she had let Marius go. He could have someone ten million times better than her, and she could be with someone who had gone through what she had not too long ago. However, one thing remained in her mind. Grantaire wasn't Marius. Grantaire was a great man with much more ahead of him since he was getting better, but he simply could not fill her heart with love the same way Marius could.

Cosette pulled away from Grantaire, who gave her a confused look. She sighed, "Grantaire, I am sure you are a great guy with an amazing life ahead of you, and I am sure you will make some woman very happy. But this feeling that you are feeling towards me... In my heart, it belongs to someone else..."

Grantaire looked down, "So I've been attempting to get sober for nothing?"

Cosette kissed his cheek gently, "Not for nothing. For yourself, and for the wonderful people who will walk through your life. I am so proud of you, and I know you will do wonderful things."

Grantaire smiled softly, and got up, "Thank you Cosette. For everything." As Cosette showed him out, she realized that she really needed to go talk to Marius. After quickly slipping into something other than her ragged gown, she dashed out the door towards Marius's house.

Marius had been pacing back and forth in his living room for quite some time. His thoughts were interrupted by a pounding at his door. As he opened the door wider, his heart pounded at seeing the tuft of golden hair he knew so well. He spoke softly, "Cosette, wh-what are you doing here."

Cosette rushed in, and wrapped her arms around Marius quickly. She responded quickly, "Marius... I am so sorry about everything. I've been so lost without you... I love you Marius more than anything in the world. I am so sorry I snapped at you before. You deserve so much better than I can provide, but I hope that you can find it in your heart to at least forgive me. Please Marius. I can't live without you."

Marius held onto Cosette tightly, not sure of what to say. He whispered to her gently, "Of course I forgive you Cosette. I love you... But..."

Cosette looked up at him, and cupped his face in her hands, "Marius, what is it?"

Marius closed his eyes. How could he tell her this? He had to though. Cosette would find out eventually. He drew in a deep breath, "Lamarque is dead... Cosette, I have to leave for the revolution... Tomorrow..."