Worth • Jikook

"I'm your toy"

I removed the r18+ that was originally written here. 🤷‍♀️😅🥲

Angst alert 🥹

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Chapter Eight

"I'm your toy"

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Jimin woke up from the constant knock on his door. Pulling the blanket off his face, "Mom I'm sleeping!"

He looked at his alarm clock, it was 11:50 pm. The knocking continued, for fuck's sake. He glided his legs letting it dangle on the edge of his bed for a second. He sat upright looking down on the cold floor. Jimin slowly let his toes touch the ground, "I'm coming!" He stood up walking idly with the blanket wrapped around him to the door.

He held the doorknob, "Fucking cold." He twisted it open but he was shocked when he saw Yoongi-hyung. Right, mom's out tonight. He stared at him nonchalantly. Memories started to flood his head, a constant replay of what they've been doing for the past two years. "Hyung..."

"Jiminie..." There it goes. He took a step back, it was dark but he could see the tears streaming down Yoongi's face. "Hoseok did something again..."

"He cheated on you again? How'd you know?" Jimin asked feeling the coldness of the floor against his bare feet. They went home together earlier since Hoseok was going to a party.

"We went home together but..." Yoongi hiccupped and that's when Jimin's eyes traveled down to his hand clutching a soju. "I went to see Hoseok... I just wanted to see him..." Tears sprung down his squinted eyes. "I saw him making out with one of his classmates in a club. The club where he said his classmate wanted to celebrate a birthday party, drinks, and stuff... but he was sober Jiminie... I could tell yet he..."

Jimin wrapped his blanket around him, guiding him to sit at the edge of his bed. Jimin kneeled in front of him removing the soju in his hand. Jimin placed the half-empty sujo on the floor. "Would you want some Tea? Just to calm you down."

He slowly shook his head, "I know we've talked about this. You said we shouldn't..."

Jimin knows what was going to happen next, He can clearly tell. The next thing he knew his back was against the bed, Yoongi was straddling him kissing his neck as he unbuttoned Jimin's flannel. Jimin just let him do what he thinks he needed to. He started to kiss him. Jimin opened his mouth giving Yoongi the access he wanted.

Jimin squinted his eyes shut, 'don't fall Jimin. Keep yourself together.'

"Kiss me back..." Yoongi demanded, Jimin placed his shaking hands on Yoongi's back as he lifted his head to kiss him. Their tongues dueled for dominance and Yoongi won. He removed Jimin's flannel off along with his shirt. He looked down and noticed that Jimin wasn't hard.

He grumbled in annoyance and Jimin panicked.

"I—" Jimin's lips trembled and he couldn't say a fucking excuse. He honestly doesn't know why he's not, he loves him that's for sure but with everything that's been happening in his life lately, it's making him question himself.

Yoongi quickly turned him over lifting Jimin's hips in the air, the latter gripped his sheets tightly anticipating the pain. "Hyung! I don't think I'm ready for this right now— I'm not prepared, please—"

"Why? Didn't you say you'd do anything for me? I still remember how bold you were that night. Don't pretend like you don't want this. You asked for this too." Yoongi says against Jimin's ear and that was enough for the younger to shut up.

'Aren't you being unfair to me hyung?'

His question was left unheard as the night passed by in a blink of an eye. He was brought back to reality once Yoongi had collapsed on top of him. There were tears pooling at the side of Jimin's eyes.

Jimin took the opportunity to run to his bathroom limping until he locked the door close behind him. He turned the shower on to its maximum, his hands were shaking. He started to sob at the way Yoongi had badly treated him. He slumped down against the wall and hugged his knees as he continued to cry.

'He was drunk, he wasn't thinking straight.'

Tell yourself more lies.

'It's okay. I love him anyway.'

I'm his, I'll be yours Min Yoongi. Even if you're not mine.

Jimin felt so dirty, he was the real masochist. He was the real idiotic masochist because he had fallen for a sadist like Min Yoongi or maybe he doesn't know it himself.

Is it so wrong to love someone even though they're hurting you?

I'm so done. I'm so tired.

"Jungkook, I guess you're right. I'm disgusting, I'm nothing but a toy to him." Jimin cried hard along with the sound of the gush of water falling. He did this to himself.

All because he wanted to be loved.

***

Jimin placed the hot cup of tea in between his hands, feeling its hotness on his palm. Jimin sniffed, rubbing his eyes. He blew the tea before taking a sip.

What should I do? I let everyone think I'm a heartless bastard, I let them think I don't give a fuck. It doesn't bother me anymore but Min Yoongi? I wanted him to treat me fair, although I wasn't honest from the very start... What would've happened if I told him two years ago that he was gonna be my first? Would he have stopped?

If he did I wouldn't have gone out with anyone I lay my eyes on. I wouldn't have acted like a complete jerk. Jimin ruffled his damp hair, "Fuck this. Who would even care Jimin? No one would! So what if I fucked around?!" Tears filled his eyes but he wiped them off before they could even fall. He exhaled roughly, he can still feel pain emotionally and physically. He took a last sip then stood up.

"Hurts like hell." He rubbed his bottom slowly. He walked carefully from the kitchen to his room. When he arrived in his room he limped his way to the bed looking down at a sleeping Yoongi. He saw tears in the older's eyes and cheeks, Jimin reached down to wipe it off his solemn face.

"I hate that I love you," Jimin whispered, he slowly and carefully sat on his bed beside him. "Is this what you want from me? Is that what everyone wants from me? Just a toy to quench your thirst for a temporary pleasure?"

Jimin smiled bitterly. "I guess that's all I'll ever be."

♣
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