Random Things

Holding Hands

He lightly knocked on my door before walking in. My frizzy hair stuck to my face, and my clothes were never changed. I had been wearing these sweatpants and sweater for about four days now. He took in my image and finally took a seat at the end of my bed.
I had been like this for almost a week now. I hadn't had any communication aside from my brother asking me if I was hungry, but I would never answer him. My brother tried to comfort me during my breakdown; but I wouldn't allow him to. I continued to force him away. I needed somebody else to help me, but I was never sure who; not until he walked through my door.
He and I hadn't known each other long, maybe a few months. But here he was, sitting at the end of my bed trying to edge nearer to me. He looked so worried, but my face showed no emotion. He searched my face of anything to give him a sign that I knew he was here.
I finally took my eyes off the dress I had worn on my night out with him. I looked towards my legs as I traced my finger along it. I still didn't want to look at him, not yet. But I could feel his stare, it felt as though his eyes were burned into the side of my head. He finally got close enough that he could reach out and touch me. But he didn't.
He looked back down at his hands then to mine. I knew what he was wanting to do, and I wasn't going to stop him. I slightly moved my hand towards  him to let him know it was okay. He sighed of relief then put his hand next to mine.
He looked so nervous. I knew I was staring at him now, but honestly, it didn't feel weird. I took in his every feature. I looked from his beautiful brown eyes to his full lips. I quickly looked away now feeling awkward.
His hand slowly grew closer. It was just barely touching the side of my hand now. Now his finger was lingering over mine, then
finally his hand was on top of mine.
I heard him sigh then saw him smile a little. Seeing him smile made me smile. For the first time in a week, I was actually smiling.
He looked up just in time to see my smile before it faded again. His hand sat on top of mind for a few more minutes. He kept looking up to me for reassurance before he finally took my hand in his.
I felt as though I was going to melt. This was only the second time he had held my hand. Instead of acting calm, I fell to my side and curled up with his hand on my chest. He tensed up as I did so but eased up as I smiled.
My head laid on the bunched up covers on my bed. My hands laid on top of his as it was on my chest. My breathing steadied as I grew tired.
He still sat there. Just sat there looking over me. I could feel his eyes tracing my every feature. From my closed eyes to hands laying on his. He shifted from sitting on the edge of my bed towards the center. He sat between where my legs and my arms were. His right hand still on my chest while his left was gently laid on my leg.
The door to my room opened slightly.
"Um, how's it going in here?" my brother asked quietly, believing me to be asleep.
He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. "It's fine."
I heard my brother gasp followed by a sniffle, then my brother left the room. I could hear my brother through the door sobbing.
I opened my eyes to still see his on mine. A smile crept upon his lips. I breathed in at the sight and smiled. He shifted to his side to lay down with me. He pulled his hand away from my chest, and I jokingly pouted. A light laugh escaped his perfectly shaped lips. Rather than keeping himself distanced from me, he edged closer then pulled me into him. I gladly accepted and laid next to him.
His chin laid on my head as my face lay on his shoulder. I wrapped my arm around his torso then smiled. For the first time in a week, I was genuinely happy.
My eyes grew heavy with sleep, so I allowed them to flutter shut. My breathing started to sync with his as I finally drifted off to sleep.