Blessing Monroe
"Bliss"
Ignoring him I wiped the tears that stained my face as I took deep breaths pulling myself together.
I knew I was going to reach a breaking point I just was hoping I would be by myself.
"Bliss" grabbing my arm I snatched it away walking away from him to the drivers side.
"What I tell you about dat shit" snatching my arm he turned me to face him as my back pressed against the car door.
"Leave me alone" looking down at me his Jae clenched as he shook his head.
"You really think I don't love yo ass? You seriously think dat shit? We could get married right fuckin now Monroe! Dat shit is dead all dat fussin and fightin fa' what? You coulda' been had me back we jus' found out she da bitch dat shot you I would've killed her ass if it wasn't fa' you tellin' me not to' all dese hoes is fuckin' dead TA' me what don't you unda'stand!"
"I don't understand how you could love me and cheat on me even when I gave you two kids! You cheated on me and proposed to the women you cheated on me with" opening the driver side door I unlocked the car doors before walking to the passengers seat and getting in the car.
He stood watching me for a few seconds before getting in the car and slamming the door quickly starting the car and pulling off.
"You think I don't regret dat shit? Every fuckin day I gotta wake up and see da' wrong shit I put you through I gotta look at my kids and see how much shit is fucked up! You don't think I feel bad fa da shit I did? Waking up to you is a constant reminder dat I fucked up and I'm fucking sorry okay? What da fuck you want me to do nothin I say or do us good enough for you"
"That's not true and you know it's not"
"What da fuck do you want me ta do?"
Turning down my street I forgot how close we lived to eachother, but then again we did say it would be more convenient for us to stay close by just incase something were to happen we would be right around the corner from eachother.
"I want you to leave but I want you to stay, but you already left me when you proposed to Layla and not me." As he parked the car I quickly got out slamming the door as I walked in my garage entering my house.
"Stop runnin' from your problems."
"Stop looking for me in every women you sleep with because you'll never find me" walking up the stairs to my room he followed behind me as the thick tension filled the house.
"Stop hidin' your feelings from me and we won't have dis' fuckin problem"
"So what? That gives you an excuse to sleep with everyone?" Turning to face him my eyebrows came together in confusion.
"Your crazy Rocky"
"You jus as crazy."
"You make me crazy, you're the one supposed to be keeping me sane"
Sitting at the edge of the bed I tossed my shoes off wrinkling my toes together as my feet began to swell. "Go get my kids"
"Not ta'night you really think I don't love you huh?"
"I don't want to talk about it anymore Rakim"
"Why you so scared ta' tell me how you really feel?"
"You really think I think everything you say or do isn't good enough for me?"
Looking up at him through my eyelashes he didn't have to answer it for me to know his answer. "That's not true and that's not fair"
I had never put him in a predicament to where he should think that, was I the one being selfish in our relationship?
"Maybe it ain't true maybe I just ain't good enough for you all around"
"Don't do that, don't talk like that" rolling my eyes as I rose from I began to walk to the dresser he was leaning against to prepare for bed.
"If none of da' shit bein' said is true den why we not ta'getha'."
"You know why we aren't together" looking up at him he was already staring down at me.
"Enlighten me"
"We both have to many skeletons in our closet to be together I can tell there's a lot of hidden animosity we have towards each other I can't be with a man I can't trust to be loyal to me" our eyes never left eachothers as we sat in front of my dresser having an intense stare down.
"Das' not da' case cus' when you was pregnant with Rueben I was loyal to yo ass you lef' me fa' two years and kept him from me"
" you know why I did that I was keeping us safe-"
"You think I couldn't do dat? You think I'm not able ta' protect my family? You always try ta' handle shit ya' self with out asking me fa' help you always runnin' and den' wanna' come back when it's convenient fa' you you don't know what it was like when I showed up ta' dat hospital and you wasn't there I'm da' one havin' da nightmares of you leavin' me you think I would come ova hea' in da middle of da night jus' ta' fuck? Nah I was comin up hea to make sure you ain't run fa me being deep in yo guts was jus' da icing on da' cake if I slept inside you I knew you couldn't leave"
My mouth sat ajar as his jaw clenched and I stood shocked at his words.
"I don't think you Luh me sometimes neitha' like you jus' wit' me fa da kids"
"That's not true!" I watched him gather his car keys and phone off the dresser walking out my room as I followed behind him.
"Where are you going?" Ignoring my question as I followed behind him I felt my heart breaking in my chest as tears flowed down my cheeks. "Where are you going?"
Opening the front door I closed it stepping in front of it. "Move Monroe"
"Not until you tell me where you are going and when you will be back"
"Did you ever leave me a note when you left me?" Moving me out his way he opened the door looking down at me shaking his head.
"I think it's time fa' you ta' feel what it's like ta' be left" tears stained my face as I shook my head no repeatedly.
"Rakim please don't do this to me, what about junior and Ruby what about our baby that's on the way?"
"Did you eva' ask yo' self that when you left"
"Rakim no please!" Crying out as I hugged on to him crying in to his chest I couldn't help the pain I was feeling.
"I'm so sorry please don't leave I need you"
"I needed you to" pushing away from he walked out closing the door in my face.
Quickly opening I called out for him as he walked to the car quickly getting in. "Rakim no!" Starting up the car he looked at me one last time before quickly pulling away leaving me standing in front of my house crying.
"What did I do?" Rushing back in the house I quickly climbed up the stairs going to my room grabbing my phone.
Calling his phone it rang a few times before going straight to voicemail making me cry harder. "Rakim please come home"
Sitting on the edge of the bed as I cried I sent him voicemail after voicemail with no answer.
Rakim Mayers had left me high and dry with two kids and one on the way... I was so lost.
