An American Promise (Book 2)

Chapter 24

'Bitterness is a paralytic. Love is a much more vicious motivator.'

-Sherlock (BBC)

Emilia had arrived in New York almost four hours after leaving Boston. She had to admit that New York was grand, not as grand as London of course, but still very intimidating. She lifted Jane into her arms, scared that she would be trampled by the crowds, and set off down the street.

It was a sunny day as she had predicted and the hustle and bustle of the city distracted her from her emotions and she looked around for a place to stay.

Soon enough she found a small hotel that was cheap but clean and she was shown to her room by a scrawny bellboy.

The room was small, a single bed against a wall, a wash basin against the other and a window overlooking the city.

She put Jane down for her nap and then sat at the window, looking out at the crowded street. Now that she was in New York she had no idea what her plan was, or even if she had a plan at all. She had been so eager to leave Boston that she'd never thought any farther than that. She supposed she could live on what she had for a little while, but after that? Who'd look after Jane when Emilia had to work? Oh it had been an unwise decision to flee so soon! Why hadn't she used her common sense and stayed in Boston where she was certain of her at least her well fare? Running away had been a foolish thing to do, the action of a lovestruck sixteen year old, not a responsible mother of twenty-two.

And now that she acted so heedlessly Max would surely no longer want to marry her, she'd been so cruel to him, not even giving him a chance to explain. She'd been childish and now she had probably ruined the future she'd been looking forward to only the previous day.

But no, he had been kissing Nora, his childhood love! There could be no explanation for that surely. Now that Emilia had left him, would he marry Nora instead? Would he think Emilia was a stupid, reckless girl, not at all suited for a wife?

She was consumed with a sense of biter jealously and self loathing then. She was such an idiot! Ruining her future like that! Why hadn't she given him a chance to explain himself?

Similar thoughts filled Emilia's mind as she sat by the window, tracing patterns on her knee. Her mood shifted from anger to envy to self pity and soon enough she had convinced herself that Max would no longer want to marry her and that, contrary to her girlish belief, he wouldn't come after her like a knight in shining armour because there weren't such things and she was silly to believe such flights of fancy.

Finally, after an hour of these dismal thoughts Jane woke up and Emilia was distracted and went over to her daughter, comforting the sudden nightmare induced tears.

Once the tears had been halted they stepped out into the bustling city. They were close to a large theatre with signs promoting a new play and Emilia was bitterly reminded of Max. She pushed those thoughts firmly away as she looked around.

The streets were full of horse drawn carriages and a large omnibus crawled along, filled with people. The pavement were thronged with men in suits, some in pairs, conferring in low tones, others racing and ducking through the crowd, harried expressions on their faces. Emilia noticed that thought the people wore clothes of good material they were slightly out of date and quite worn. She even spotted some women sporting the broad skirts the of the previous decade. Children were kept close and Emilia felt her hand tightening around her own child's hand. Everyone had an air of tired desperation and Emilia felt for the first time in a while that maybe she stood out.