E! News Exclusive : Robsten ties the knot in London!
Our fave celeb couple Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart got married this weekend at the Pattinsons' countryside residence. Sources tell us it was an intimate affair, only their closest friends and families in attendance.
The newlyweds are currently honeymooning across Europe, just like their characters in Daniel Green's blockbuster film, "The Ex-Files." The pair is set to reunite for a new film with Green, this time telling "a modern fairytale of love in the digital age."
All the best for this lovely couple!
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"Everyone! Let's give a warm welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Pattinson!"
The audience screamed as Robert and I went on stage, holding our hands and waving at the crowd.
"Nice having you two here again! Rob was clearly a crowd favorite." The crowd screamed again, making Rob squirm in his seat.
"Yes, Jimmy! It's great." I said, the energy in the air infectious.
"Of course it is. Tell me, how are you two doing?"
"Oh well, Rob and I will be married for almost a year now." I say, making the crowd scream again as Rob kisses me on the cheek.
"Yes, sorry girls. And boys, maybe. I'm taken!" He laughs as he points to his ring finger.
"Congratulations you two! Successful in marriage and successful in your careers too! You two have an upcoming movie again, if I'm correct?"
"Yeah. It's another RomCom. I'm pretty sure a lot of people can relate. It's about a couple who met through Tinder." Robert and I exchange smirks, as the crowd murmurs.
"Wow! I think the audience remembers Robert's Tinder adventure, right?" Jimmy says, flashing a clip from Robert's previous interview with him. Robert smiles sheepishly, remembering what I did to him that same night.
Not that he didn't like it though.
After the clip rolled, Jimmy asked him, "How's your Tinder girl doing?"
He coughed. A lot.
Haha. Gotcha, fucker. I raised my eyebrow at him, a smirk on my face at his discomfort.
And I totally got Jimmy to be in on my plan.
"You're in trouble, Rob!" A lone voice from the crowd shouting, prompting laughter to erupt from the audience.
"Oh, Jimmy. Pretty sure she's doing well. Just as long as Mr. Stewart here comes home to me, he can be on Grindr for all I care." I say with a wink.
"Alright! More with these two after the break!" Jimmy shouts as the commercials go on.
"Kris!" Rob hisses. "Grindr? Really?"
"What?" I say innocently. He frowns, not knowing how to handle this line of questioning.
"Kris, is this some kind of revenge for outing us in the interview? It's been a year, for fuck's sake!"
"Aww, baby. Don't be mad. Just let me have my fun today." I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. Before I pulled back, I whispered in his ear, "I'll let you have your fun tonight." With a wink and a lip bite, I sank back down on the armchair. Robert was still squirming in his seat, this time for a completely different reason.
Booyah, motherfucker!
"Kris, you can't say things like that in public!" He says with a pout. Jimmy gets back to his table and offers us both a mug filled with water.
"Alright you two, no sexual tension here please. Keep it rated PG, we're on air in twenty." Jimmy says with a laugh. In a few seconds, we were back on air.
"Alright, so Robert shared with us his Tinder story, what about you, Kris? Any memorable stories you'd care to share with us?" Jimmy asks me.
With a smile, I said, "Yes. Definitely. I'll have you guys know that Robert here proposed to me on April Fool's Day. He had this, like, scavenger hunt with clues, and at the end of the day he proposed. I said yes, then added, April Fool's! Turns out it was midnight, so it didn't count anymore, and now I'm stuck with him." I said, the audience laughing like crazy at my story.
"Excuse me! You like being stuck with me." He said, trying to sound offended. "I'll have you guys know, when Kristen first told me she loved me, she said, and I quote, I kinda love you too." The audience was in an uproar again. Damn it, Pattinson.
"Shut up!" I bumped him on the shoulder, and he just laughed.
"You two are quite a pair, aren't you?" Jimmy says, laughing at our dynamics.
"That we are." Rob replies, his smile never failing to make me melt. Cheeky British Bastard.
"So, what are the things you especially liked about this new movie of yours?"
"Me? I learned the fact that you never really know how you'll meet your perfect match." I say, looking at Robert and squeezing his hand. The audience awws at our display of affection.
"For me, it's just that love comes from the most unexpected places. Love that's not traditional is just the same as doing the old school friends-to-lovers sort of thing. Love is great. No matter how you meet, your special person is out there just waiting to meet you." I couldn't help but give Robert a kiss at his statement.
And this is why I married this fucker.
"All right. That's all the time we have for today! Any last words, Rob? Kristen?"
"Yeah. Hope you catch our latest film. Out in two weeks worldwide! Hopeless romantics and people who just want to have a laugh will surely enjoy this one." Rob says with a grin.
"Yeah. And if you want to find out how Robert and I met, just watch the movie. I'm Rob's Tinder girl, you guys. See you!" I say, leaving the audience in shock and in an uproar. The lights dim and the director shouts Cut! as the show ends.
"Kristen!" Robert yells, eyes wide and afraid.
"I told you I'll have some fun with you today." I winked at him as I ran backstage.
"I'll get you for this, Kris! You're no match for me!" He says with a laugh as he runs after me to tickle me.
You're wrong.
We're a perfect match.
________________________________ I think this is more of a futuretake than an epilogue, but w/e
Because I really wanted some payback, and thought this would be hilarious, just before I mark this story complete. 😂
