Harmony Olivia Collins
When I woke up, I looked at my phone, seeing it was 10:30 am.
I groaned and rolled out of bed.
I walked into the bathroom, grabbing the extra toothbrush that sat there and brushed my teeth.
I cleaned my face and proceeded to walk out the door to my bedroom.
I creeped around the corner to avoid Tamir but no luck.
I smacked right into him, causing me to take a few steps back.
"Harmony." He said as he looked down at me.
I side stepped him, going into our room and locking the door.
I hopped in the shower and started to cry.
Tamir has said some hurtful shit in the past but this just takes the cake.
I stood there for 15 minutes before getting out and going into my closet.
I slipped on a pink crop hoodie, a pair of white leggings and white socks.
I put my hair into a messy bun and some chapstick on my lips.
When I opened the door, no one was in the hallway so I went downstairs.
The whole house was empty so that meant Tamir went to go get the kids.
I fixed a quick meal and ate it, sitting at the island.
I heard the door open and little feet running.
"Mommy!" The kids yelled as they ran to me in the kitchen.
I practically jumped from my seat and scooped them into a hug.
"Hi babies, I missed you." I said as I kissed all over their faces.
"Did you have fun?" I asked them when I stopped.
They both nodded.
"Let's go put your stuff up, okay?" I said as I grabbed their bag.
Tamir was standing in the doorway, watching us.
"Excuse us." I said as I looked down at Kamden, who was walking in front of me.
He moved out of the way, letting us pass him.
I spent an hour in the kids room, letting them tell me all about their sleepover.
They both were yawning as we sat in the middle of Kamden's floor.
"Tired?" I asked as Kimora crawled into my lap.
They both nodded.
"Okay, let's go to bed." I tucked Kamden in and took Kimora to her room to do the same.
I closed her door and came out into the hallway.
"Can we talk?" I heard Tamir say from behind me.
I turned to him, meeting his chest.
I felt him staring into the top of my head as I shook my head no.
"At least let me apologize." He pleaded.
I sighed then began walking to our bedroom.
I sat on the end of the bed, Indian-style, as he stood in front of me.
"Harmony, I'm sorry for what I said last night. It was a lie and uncalled for." He said.
I sat there with a straight face, hoping he would hurry up and finish.
"It should've never got to that point." He said as he moved closer to me.
He got on his knees and put his hands on my waist.
"I love you, Harmony." He said with his head in my lap.
I tried to remove his hands from around me but his grip tightened.
"Please don't leave me." He said as I felt my leg get wet.
Here he was, crying in my lap like a baby.
"You don't think that hurt, Tamir?" I said in a quiet voice.
I shook my head and sat there.
"I love you too, Tamir but I love myself way more." I said, feeling my anger rise.
I had to take a few deep breaths before it got out of control.
"An angry man never tells lies. I know the truth now." I said in a calm voice. "Now I know what really goes on in the that thick ass skull of yours. Why get me pregnant not once but twice if I was so crazy? Why spend all these large amounts of money on me if I was so crazy? Why tell me you love me if I was so crazy? All of this shit not adding up to me now. You wanna keep pulling me along, making sure I don't go to nobody else and give them the love I give to you. That is so fucking selfish."
I pushed myself away from him, getting off the bed.
"I need time to figure out where to go from here." I said tiredly.
"What you mean?" He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows.
I rolled my eyes. "See, here you go. If I was gonna tell you I wanna leave, you would blow up and get mad. I'm going to stay in the guest for a while until I figure all this shit out."
He walked over to me but I stopped him.
"You don't have to do that, Harmony." He said as he continued his walk.
"I do. I can't just lay next to someone who I'm not sure loves me." I say as I move toward the door.
I never said I was leaving the house and it's still a problem.
"I gotta prove a point to you, Tamir." I said.
"I can't sleep without you by my side." He said quietly.
I looked into his tired eyes, knowing that he was serious.
I shrugged. "Now would be the best time to learn."
I stared at him, noticing the defeated look on his face.
"I'll come get my shit out the closet in a little bit." I said as I twisted the door knob.
"Harmony, promise me something." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"If this shit don't work out, you'll find a better nigga than me." He stared at me.
"Can't promise you that because the only nigga I want is you." I said with a shaky voice.
I opened the door and left out the room, going to lay down.
He drained the life out of me and I had a lot of things to think about.
