Rooftops

Thirty-Nine

||Thirty-Nine||

I find him a few hours later. He's leaning against the rooftop railing of his hotel, his head titled upwards towards the starless LA sky.

Finding where he was hadn't been easy but after remembering the name of the hotel he mentioned he was staying at, I had a hunch about where he'd be or where he'd end up at some point tonight.

He doesn't hear the door slam behind me and I'm pretty sure he has his earphones inserted into his ears, so I take a few steps towards him but stop far enough away so we have some distance between the two of us.

"So here's the thing," I say, loud enough to make him jump and look over his shoulder.

He half turns and takes out the white earbuds from his ears. He looks at me as if he's surprised to see me here, standing before him. Honestly, I didn't blame him, I'm still a little shocked myself.

"The thing is, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of falling in love with you because I know what being in love with you feels like. I know what that love does. And I also know how much that love hurts because I spent years trying to get over it. And, honestly, I never really got over it. Because if I had, I wouldn't be standing here right now.

So, you put all your cards on the table, so I'm doing the same.

I can't jump into this. Not while Jackson is waiting for me back in Texas thinking that once I return I'm going to jump into his arms and things will be just like they were a week ago because they're not."

Justin fully faces me, "So what are you saying?" he asks me, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.

My gaze locks with his and in that moment, despite the bumpy road we're about to get on, I know that in the end, everything will be okay. "I'm saying I pick you."

--