soft light » joshler

roadside.

tw for suicidal thought mentions. stay safe, my loves.

it was odd, really. how josh had met tyler, since it was all an assortment of events that were nearly completely random, and they probably wouldn't have even known of each other's existence without the damn slushie that josh had spilled on tyler's favorite skirt.

and that was just another thing that made their relationship what it was, and nobody would have thought for a single fucking second that two people as broken and fragile as half-shattered china cups could come together and make a bond that everybody just knew wasn't something that could be broken.

and so on this afternoon it had been observed that the two had left school a little after sixth period, and ty was wearing josh's letterman coat, since it was getting to be near winter and the dry air was getting colder by the day. tyler sat next to josh in his beat-up old truck, and lay his head down of joshs shoulder as they drove. the heaters were blossoming warmth into the interior, and tyler gave his mascara-coated eyelashes a little flutter before looking up to his love's face.

"where are we going, joshie?" he whispered.
"away, angel. gotta get some air." josh replied, his voice sad and low and in that blue place tyler hated to see him in.

and tyler was so aware of everything that josh felt, and their hearts were trembling together, in sync, and Tyler nuzzled his face deeper into josh's jacket. he knew that made him feel safe. they kept each other afloat though they were both sinking. it was awhile, tyler knew, before they stopped, and josh gently rubbed tyler's shoulder. "come on, baby," he cooed, his tired voice still in the dark place. tyler lifted his head, and allowed josh to wrap his arms around him and carry him gently out of the car. (a/n: just realized this is an exact copy of what happened in rain boy oh well)

josh, with some difficulty, managed to sit down, tyler in his lap as he sat near the edge of the cliff. the road he had taken led up to a road that curved along a hill, a drop just a few feet from the street. it gave the most beautiful view of the los angeles skyline, and beyond that you could see the turquoise sea glimmering, the pastel clouds from the sunset offsetting it perfectly. josh loved to sit here and think, listening to calm music as he dealt with his demons. sometimes bring alcohol and in his sick daze imagine throwing himself off the edge, ending every damn thing and giving up, because nobody except tyler gave a fuck about him, really. tyler was his reason to live, his silk strand grounding him to survival. he had tried to come to terms with the cruelty of life, in that the pain of staying alive lay the moment of joy.

tyler looked up, his head still pressed tight against joshs. he took in the view, the chilled wind breezing by them, and it was so therapeutic for him, calming. and he, on impulse, lifted his head to connect his lips with josh's. his touch gentle and innocent, and he could feel the dark veil of sadness lift off of josh's chest slightly.

they stayed there a long time, wrapped in the simple pleasure of each other's presence. long enough so that the sun dipped below the sea just barely, sending streaks of bright blue, oranges, and pinks across the sky as if a painter had brushed his hands along the vaulted sky. their silhouettes were dark, pressed so close they were almost one being. josh breathed lightly into tyler's mouth, connecting his lips to the smaller one's for the thousandth time. he would never get tired of the taste of tyler, the soft sounds he pulled from him, the curve of his hips, his dark eyes surrounded by long lashes.

he wanted to stay there forever, and finally the word forever didn't terrify him as much.

a/n: im shook as HELL THIS IS ALMOST AT 1K WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH

also im so ?¿ I feel like all my fics are the same lol

also if you remember the boy I mentioned ?? i realized I didn't like him at all, he just liked me, and he ended up being very handsy and posessive with me and i ended up having a panic attack on account of him. he took advantage of me when I was having an attack to hug me, and try to kiss me under the pretense of making me feel better. no. no.

anyways sorry for that super long unnecessary a/n seeya next time I'm trying smut out again. I love you all, honeys. you're my everything.