soft light » joshler

please read

(i originally posted this message on my profile awhile ago, but i decided rather late to put it here to reach a wider audience.)

hello to all of my precious followers,

you've all probably noticed by now (or not??) that i haven't been on this account or active recently. to be completely honest, i naturally drifted away from the twenty one pilots fandom (i never tend to stan one thing for more than a couple of months at a time). so after i drifted away and lost interest, i looked back on some of the things i did and i realized that my choices within this wonderful group of people led me to a terrible place.

i fell into the fantasies of fanfiction and unknowingly started glorifiying mental illness in my head. it's pretty blunt, but i led myself to a place so terrible and dark that i landed myself in a hospital. please, if you're reading this. i'm begging you not to disregard this message. there is nothing beautiful or cool about mental illness. it is pain, and suffering, and it causes even more pain and suffering to those around you. nothing good will come out of it, i promise you. just because those around you might have it, you should never, ever, ever feel the need to want a mental illness to fit in. i myself wanted to be like what seemed like everyone else in the tøp fandom. I read triggering things that influenced the way i thought in ways i couldn't even control. i thought it would garner me attention and sympathy. and i promise you: it did none of those things.

this is my goodbye, i guess. i love everyone that follows me. some of you have been with me since the beginning, and i thank you so much for your support through the months. i bear no ill will, and i am not trying to attack anyone, and i love you all more than you know. goodbye for real, now.

-mei