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[45] Positive

Chapter 45                    

"....you are nothing to me," I said to her. I watched as she stood there, a tear rolling down her cheek after she ranted at me. I couldn't do this to myself... I couldn't let her hurt me again.  Who was I kidding?  She had much more going for her than me.

"What... what do you mean?" she barely got out.

"I mean...how do I say this?"  I ran a hand through my hair and took a step back, sighing.  I slid down against the wall to the ground.  "Lily... I give up.  Seriously.  Why do you think I did what I just did?  Go back to where you belong... with Jakey."

"... I ended it for you!  And you throw this at me?" she shouted. I shook my head and looked at my knees as I spoke.

  "Do you know why I am the way I am?  Why I'm a player?  Because girls like you pull me in, make me feel like I'm not just some idiot who's barely passing school, and then you just ditch me for some other guy.  What do you think?  That I don't have a heart?"  I looked up at her, into her eyes.

"Obviously.  You just slept with Summer, didn't you?"

I shrugged.  "I was naked when I noticed her getting out of bed naked... so I guess."

"You horrible person!  I hate you!" she practically shrieked at me. I smirked. 

"Didn't you just say you love me?"

She shook her head, tears pouring down her face.  "I hope you rot in hell."

Then I watched her walk away from me.  "...Lily..." I whispered in pain, losing my composure as I put my hands in my hair, tugging at it in frustration.  Again came the heart ache. She was better off. I felt a tear roll down my cheek.  "I hate myself," I whispered.  

"You asleep?" Jojo's voice asked from my door.

"No," I mumbled from my bed.

"Mind if I sit next to you for a while?"

"Why?"

"I had a nightmare."

"Turn on the light."

Jojo turned on the light and I sat up, grabbing Primrose and putting her on my lap. Jojo sat down beside me with a vacant expression plastered on her face. I placed the kitten on her lap and she started to pat her. "What's wrong, kiddo?" I asked.

"I had a nightmare that Mikey broke up with me." I laughed which made her expression turn to hurt. I shook my head and put an arm around her.

"I'm not laughing because I find it funny."

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Because I know exactly how that feels.  I've been up all night because I can't get Lily off my mind."

"Speaking of Lily, why isn't she your girlfriend yet?"

"I'm not the right one for her."

"Why not?"

"Because she has everything going for her.  I don't.  She'll just hurt me like every other girl."

"Oh come on Cory!  Have one romantic bone in your body for once!"

I looked over at her curiously.  "What do you mean?"

"Stop complaining and being 'oh woe is me' and actually do what your heart wants for once.  So what if you get hurt?"