help me || anti au

october 7th

October 8th, 2016

hi once again,

so, after sometime, i've decided to name you...

_________.

cool name right?

but that's not really why i'm writing in here for. it'd be pretty pointless to have a journal entry just writing about what you're gonna call the journal.

it makes no sense... but; when do i ever make sense?

questions to think about.

anyway! back to the point.

this week wasn't the most... calming weeks of them all.

signe was leaving to visit her family out in denmark, and robin just texted me saying that network was down. so, i was left alone finishing off videos and work that corrupted throughout the entire week.

it felt like i was just starting to live here again, learning how to manage with doing this all day. i almost forgot how tiring it was since robin helps me a lot with amount of the videos i needed to render and edit.

i know it makes myself sound annoying saying "oh my life is so hard" when i'm just going through a first world problem, but i need to get this off my chest.

i feel like i'm taking to a bunch of viewers, like i'm publishing this somewhere... being on the internet has really taken a toll on me, hasn't it?

i'm not only making content for them, but for myself as well. i can have some things to myself once in a while.

dammit. off topic again.

why do i feel like something trying to keep me off topic all the time? every single time i try to stay focused, something always comes up and distracts me from saying what i have to say.

i know i go off topic a lot. but; when i try to stay focused, i don't go more off into space. i try to find my ground and balance myself on it.

what's gotten into me lately?

every since that message and black smoke came into the house, i haven't been seeing things the same lately.

the black smoke! that's what i wanted to talk about.

earlier this week, more towards when signe went on the trip, a dark presence came into the apartment. literally.

i ignored the uneasy feeling and tried to keep on working. i tried to keep going on with my schedules and games for the week.

however; the games and recording went against me.

the games either had glitches that messed up my recording, or kept freezing and the frame rate was absolute dog shit.

with the recording, the game could've had the most excellent frame rate and/or i could've done the coolest trick of them all...