Roommates

Starving

Camila's P.O.V.

I went to the room to change my clothes for the date with Josh. I was so excited for it but I felt empty. I was so upset about my thoughts and mad at myself because of all the stuff. I just begged God that Shawn won't be in there, cause I was in weird mood and just didn't want things to get complicated. Or I did want?

He was laying on his bed, looking like he's bored and has no energy.

"Date?" he lifted his head looking at me.

"Chill?" I tried to evade his question.

"No."

"So what," I laughed. "Your lover does have another program this evening?"

"No."

I shrinked my eyebrows. "Something happened?"

"Kind of," he shrugged.

"Shawn, come on," I sat next to him. "You can tell me. You know that."

Shawn's P.O.V.

I looked her in the eyes. "I don't want to ruin something."

I was so scared to talk with her, to make a joke on her account, I was even scared to touch her. I was so disappointed by all my feelings, and just begged she will still look me in the eyes someday after I tell her about the kiss. Cause I was so messed up and wanted her to know that even she wouldn't talk with me. I would suffer for her. I would lie for her. I would die for her.

"Shawn, you scare me," she frowned.

You idiot. You're not strong enough to tell her.  Coward.

I shaked my head to clear my head. "Camila," I breathed out.

Camila's P.O.V.

I started to be mad at him. Way too much. I don't know why but I realized he's still thinking I didn't know about what he did on the beach and he still didn't tell me and didn't seemed to do it anyways. God, I would punch him in the face for that.

"Yes. You still know my name. Great," I rolled my eyes irritably.

"What do you mean."

"Nothing. I just wonder how long do you want to be quiet?" I sounded so mad. My head was burning and I didn't know for how long can I controll myself.

"I... I don't get it," he said dissapointly.

"You don't get anything. You don't get I know about everything like for a week, you don't get how you hurt me, you don't even get how have I felt knowing it, don't you?" I was yelling at him now. And what was even better. The tears started to run down my faces. "Are you even a human?"

"You remem-"

"Yea I fucking remember the kiss," I interrupted him. "I am so sorry I remember it cause I would be so grateful to God if I couldn't."

"Mila, please, don't be mad at me. I wanted to tell you so bad but I was so scared you wouldn't look me in the eyes anymore. I couldn' loose you," he took my hand.

"Don't touch me!" I tried to hold the tears. "And don't call me Mila."

"I'm so sorry. You don't even know how I suffered by not telling you. I didn't want to make you hate me."

"You did already. Congratulations."

"Let me please explain it to you," he looked at me.

"Try," I shrugged.

"Look. I was drunk and you too. The first day after I kissed you," he swallowed nervously, "I thought this was the main reason why I did it. But... It wasn't at all. I realized I did it because of my feelings I started to have for you from the first time I saw you here. I'm so sorry I realized it this late. I feel so bad I hurt you, and I would understand if you wouldn't talk with me anymore," he turned his face from me.

God. I didn't know what to do. I was so mad at him and wanted him to feel it, but I understood him. I wouldn't tell him anyways.

I put my hand on his cheek and turned it his head back to me.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean it like that."

I looked into his chocolate eyes. I could drown in them, get lost in them. But at first, I wanted to taste his lips again. This time they tasted like summer.

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