Arizona nodded and Callie pulled her into her embrace. Arizona's shoulders shook as she sobbed into Callie's neck. "How am I going to face them, Calliope? How am I going to sit there, in front of all of those people and testify? I can hardly tell you what happened in the confines of our bedroom."
"You'll look at me."
"What?" Arizona looked up.
"You will look at me. When you are answering questions, you will look at me," Callie said.
"Questions," Arizona repeated. Her mind was racing and her blood was pounding. It was too much. Her blood on the ground, her hands in chains, a trial, questions, questions about what happened to her, Calliope, she had been so supportive and Arizona didn't deserve it. "I'll be right back."
She practically ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Bracing herself against the sink, she looked at herself in the mirror. Mascara and eyeliner were streaked across her face. Everything was spinning. She wasn't in control. Control, control, control. She looked around the room wildly. Control, control, control. She looked down. Her bright blue nails that Callie had painted for her yesterday shone back at her. Control, control, control. She raised her shaking hand and pulled her sleeve up. Clenching her hand around her forearm, she pressed her nails into her skin. Biting her lip, she clenched harder, turning her hand into a vice around her arm. A moan of pain tried to escape. She clawed and began to feel relief. The harder she pressed the better she felt. But not good enough. Control, control, control. She clawed harder and saw the faint red prick of blood began to show. A smile spread across her face and she clawed more.
"Arizona!" Callie knocked on the door. "Are you okay?"
"I'm, I'm fine," Arizona said. She turned the water on and rinsed off her arm. She picked up the darkest towel in the bathroom and dried her arm off. She pulled her sleeve down and wiped the smeared make up off of her face. She opened the door. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm okay. I just needed a minute."
"That's okay honey," Callie said. "Are you sure that you're okay?"
"I am," Arizona said. "I'm really tired. So can we - uh - go to bed?"
"Sure baby," she said, then she leaned in. "Can I hold you again tonight?"
"Please," Arizona whispered, almost a beg.
It threw Callie off. "Arizona."
"Just please, Calliope. Just please hold me. You're the only thing saving me right now."
