"They're gone," Callie smiled. "They can't hurt you anymore."
Arizona smiled and walked to the kitchen. "I'm going to make dinner before we go out with everyone."
Calliope nodded, her Zona was always cooking. "Okay. I'm going to go change."
"Fine," Az replied, preoccupied. The vegetables she pulled out of the refrigerator needed to be washed and cut. Grabbing a pot, she filled it with water and put it on the stove, turning the heart on low. Running the carrots under water, she set them of the cutting board and pulled out the knife to begin chopping. She started cutting rhythmically, and then slowed down.
She closed her eyes. Everything form the day was hitting her all at once.
-The courthouse, closing statements, sex with Arizona, their shower, hearing the ruling...her heart beat picked up. Everything was pressing down on her mind.
She looked down at the knife and then up at the closed bedroom door.
Control, control, control.
She pressed the blade to her arm, and sawed back and forth, gasping at the almost immediate flow of blood. She pulled the knife away and Calliope opened the door. "Ouch." Arizona said
"Oh my god!" Callie's eyes were wide. "ARIZONA!! Are you okay? How the hell?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered, letting Callie take the knife from her hand. And then backing away, cowering. "I-It slipped, I-I wasn't paying attention. I-I am so, s-so, s-s-sorry, C-Calliope. It-it was an accident."
"It's okay, it's okay," Callie soothed, pressing a paper towel to Arizona's arm and wrapping her in a tight hug. She backs away when Arizona tenses. Raising her hands, palms up, she smiles kindly. "See? I'm not mad. It was an accident. You're okay."
Then, while she dug for the first aid kit and the gauze, Zona examined her arm. It wasn't a deep cut and the blood stopped quickly.
Callie looked at it. The way the skin was split did not look like the knife had slipped, but Callie was not about to accuse Arizona of anything right now. "We'll just order in."
"But I wanted–"
"Zona, there is blood all over the counter now. Let's just order in, we'll go out, and then tomorrow I'll let you make me breakfast," she smiled, reaching for the phone. "Chinese?"
Shaking her head, Arizona couldn't help but smile at her Calliope, "Yeah, that's fine." She watched Callie on the phone and then looked down at the drops of her blood on the counter. Guilt filled her. She shouldn't be doing this to Callie; she should be talking to her. "Calliope?" she called when the Latina hung up.
"No, I said it was fine, Arizona," she kissed her, cutting her off. "Now come on, let's get ready for tonight." Her giggle made Az smile again, but she let the confusion linger. Looking back down at the table, she sighed and sprayed cleaner, wiping up the evidence of her moment of weakness. She would talk to Calliope tonight, after they went out with their friends. She promised herself that she would. I will, I'll do it later. She threw the useless carrots into the trash and turned the stove off.
How long am I going to keep messing things up?
