Weddings

Chapter 02

Paul moved through the crowded barn. He had to see Richard before he left; he needed an explanation or at least some acknowledgement of what had just happened.

The lead guitarist was stood with a group of girls, chatting and laughing away, drink in hand. Paul joined the group, feeling suddenly nervous when Richard didn't seem to even notice his presence. "Can we talk?" Paul was surprised how timid his voice sounded.

Richard seemed a little irritated at the interruption to his flirting, "About what?" He sighed a little, turning his attention towards Paul, though not before winking at a pretty blonde who giggled and blushed in response.

Paul shuffled nervously, "About, uhm... y'know?"

"Uhm y'know?" Richard parroted, causing a spatter of laughter from his harem.

"About what just happened." Paul felt his cheeks beginning to prickle as a hot blush moved up his body.

Richard looked at him momentarily, seeming almost confused. "Okay?" He responded, dragging out the last syllable as if he had no idea what Paul could possibly want.

Paul waited for Richard to move, heart thudding to a halt as he realised his friend had no intention of leaving the girls to talk privately. "Could... Could we?" Paul indicated the back door of the barn, feeling frustrated at the unwilling expression on Richard's face.

"Paul, I'm kinda busy here, in case you hadn't noticed, and I really don't think there's a whole lot to say. It's not like we're negotiating a war, Sugarplum. It was just a bit of fun." Richard began returning his attentions to the girls as Paul blushed furiously at the condescending pet name.

"Well, sweet pea." Paul felt his teeth grind as he hissed the words, "Perhaps it was just a bit of fun for you..."

"And you. You can't deny that." Richard stated matter-of-factly, his voice low as he turned away from the girls again and spoke directly into Paul's ear, "I'd have done it much sooner too, if I'd known you make them sorts of noises." Richard pulled back to give Paul a cheeky wink, but looked a little confused at the stressed expression of his friend. "What's the matter with you?"

"What do you think?" Paul felt a heavy weight in his chest at Richard's casual reaction.

"Come on, Paul. I was horny, you were naked, we had a tumble in the hay. Is it that I didn't use a condom? Cause if it's that..." Paul looked away, unable to mask how that line of thought made him recoil, both physically and emotionally. I'm not going to cry about this. Not here. Not in front of him. "Well what then? It wasn't your first time?"

"No!" Paul lied, suddenly wishing he hadn't talked to Richard at all. He didn't want to reveal how significant that 'tumble in the hay' had been.

"Of course not. So what's the issue? You've had casual sex before!"

"Yeah, I... It was just about the condom thing." Paul couldn't raise his eyes to look at Richard, but could feel Richard's eyes searching for contact with his own. "I know the shit you get up to..."

"I'm safe, it's fine." Richard responded softly. "Next time I'll bring one, don't worry."

Next time?! Paul looked up just in time to catch another cheeky smile from Richard. Did this mean nothing to him? Apparently not, as Richard was yet again lost in flirtation with his little fan club.

Paul felt like shit. He'd been used, not that being used was a bad thing; he had enjoyed being used. The problem was he'd expected this to be as ground-breaking to Richard as it was to himself. Paul knew now that this was casual sex, and yet for some reason he couldn't bring himself to feel casual about it.

Fuck it. Fuck it all. Should never have come to this shitty party. Fuck! Paul felt his eyes beginning to sting, this was a fucking joke. He was not going to burst into tears here, beside Richard, like a toddler who'd lost his comfort blanket.

Paul knew that, if he wanted to escape this with any shred of dignity remaining, he needed to get out of there quick. What the fuck was happening to him?