Weddings

Chapter 15

Paul decided to stop at Schneider's on the way home, just to check if he was alright. Emil waited in the car while his father walked up to the door and knocked... Nothing. Paul tried again, looking through the letterbox to confirm the lights were switched off. He must still be driving.

Trying to clear his mind, I guess. Paul headed back to the car, turning to look up at the bedroom window as he left. The house was empty.

Reaching for the car door handle, Paul was suddenly hit by an idea. He turned, heading down the side of his friend's house and clambering over the fence into the garden. Sure enough there was Schneider, immersed in his yoga exercises. Paul gave him a nervous smile, though the drummer was facing away from him.

"Hey?" The guitarist moved away from the fence, closer to his friend.

Schneider stood, his shoulders dropping as he registered Paul's voice. "Why are you here Paul?" He asked, not turning. "I'm sorry about earlier, okay? I need some time to unwind now. No more fighting."

"I know." Paul moved closer to his friend, "I understand. I know you're angry with me, Schnei.."

"I'm not angry with you! It's him I'm angry with! The way he trampled on your feelings back there... It was like.. like.."

"Like how I trampled on your feelings?" Schneider was quiet. "I shouted at you when I shouldn't have, I'm sorry."

"You only shouted because I was going to reveal your feelings for him. It wasn't my place to do that to you Paul." Schneider still faced away, perhaps it was better for him; not to have to look Paul in the eyes right now.

"I think.." Paul started, his voice belying the guilt and torment he felt. "That a lot of the anger you're directing at Richard is really meant for me." The drummer's shoulders stiffened. "I think you're angry with me for how I've rejected you, but because of how you feel about me, and because you know I'm in the same situation with Richard, you can't get angry with me." Silence. Schneider huffed a little, letting Paul know he didn't want to agree with this line of reasoning.

"He was a dick back there Paul."

"Yeah, but Richard is a dick sometimes. Doesn't mean we should blame him for everything. I broke up the band, and I hurt you. Not him. Please don't blame him, Chris. It's all my fault, all of it."

"No Paul. No one's to blame for this. You can't help what you feel anymore than I can, and I'm guessing there's a reason you quit the band? I'm guessing he did something?"

"Yes." Paul couldn't deny it, steadily moving towards his friend. "But that's all resolved. Well.. it was resolved."

Schneider gave a broken little snort, his shoulders twitching as the empty laugh shook him to the core. "Trust me to fuck everything up, eh?"

"Don't think like that. There's nothing we can't fix. We can fix all of this, we just need time and patience."

"You know what Paul? No. We can't. Can you fix the lost trust between the band members? Can you fix what was said earlier, in the band meeting? Can you fix my broken heart?!"

Paul could hear the drummer was on the verge of tears, perhaps he was crying already. The guitarist moved forward, putting his arms around Schneider's waist in a close hug and kissing his shoulder blade. "I can try." He whispered. "Whatever it takes to make this okay, Schnei, I'll do it. Whatever you want." He turned his head to the side, resting it on his friend's back and closing his eyes.

Schneider sighed, turning to face Paul and placing a tentative kiss on the smaller man's lips. Paul slowly opened his eyes, meeting those of his friend. He has been crying.