community service / benny rodriguez

chapter 7

benny's pov

i laid in my bed looking up at the ceiling.

even though this was embarrassing, i kissed the back of my hand probably about 20 times to see how my lips felt.

i had never kissed a girl before. i had never even really really liked a girl before.

yeah I've thought some of them were cute, but then arsenia came around and mixed up all of my feelings.

she made me want to impress her, to smell good in hopes that she noticed. or that I took up to 3 showers because I knew she hated when people didn't shower.

so many thoughts ran through my head.

was i even a good kisser?

did she even like me or was that some sort of sympathy payment? i don't even know.

girls are confusing.

and I bet tomorrow she's going to be rude to me, like she always is. she's always mad at me and I don't even know what I do but I guess my whole existence is annoying.

"then why did she kiss you?", my conscience asked me, making my thoughts lead to the kiss again.

i turned over and groaned into my pillow.

stupid, perfect arsenia.

arsenia's pov

i closed my front door and leaned my back against it.

"quel ragazzo nuovo?", my mother questioned as she leaned against the stairs. (that boy again?)

my face was burning up, it felt like it was on fire. i just kissed benny.

i nodded quickly while my mother gave me a concerned look. "nessun findanzato", she said sternly as she walked back into the kitchen to do God knows what. (no boyfriend)

i ran up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door. i looked at myself in my mirror on my nightstand.

why did I kiss him? i didn't have any makeup on, I looked like a naked mole rat.

my lips were slightly swollen from the kiss.

from all the boys that I've ever kissed, benny was actually pretty good.

his lips were soft, and warm. and he smelled like soap. which was a good thing.

i sat down at the edge of my bed and looked at the floor.

what did I just do?

now he's going to think that I like him and I don't. or maybe I do. i don't know why I kissed him he just looked so...kissable, I don't know.

benny was the type of boy that was there and you never noticed how cute he was, or how chiseled his features were or how smooth his voice was until you spent enough time around him.

i found myself anticipating to see him every single day, and fixing my hair or adding a slight bit more makeup on. not that he'd ever notice, but i just kept telling myself maybe if do this or do that he'd find me attractive or like me.

i didn't even understand why i was feeling this way? did I like benny rodriguez?

no. i shook off that thought and leaned back until my head touched my pillow.