community service / benny rodriguez

chapter 9

arsenia

community service came and went and me and benny had finished it without further talk about what happened that night. mr. bruce was proud of us and let us go early, it was great and i made some of the best memories with benny, but he soon faded away back into the deepest part of my mind.

i did miss him, but i guess it was just a summer fling that passed.

i had seen him couple of times here and there but we'd just make a weird eye contact and i'd glance away and he would too.

school had started and i was now in 11th grade. things were going great for me. i had new friends and a completely different attitude about everything, and it was all because of him.

my mother started college too so she was really never home, i didn't mind though. i liked being alone, that's when i felt like i could truly be myself.

i was sitting at my desk thinking, i should write him a letter.

so i pulled out my favorite gel pen and a piece of card stock and laid it all out onto my desk.

benny,

i know we haven't seen each other or talked to each other in a while, but, i want you to know that i've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and i want you to know that, i miss you.

not that i regret what happened or, i want to see you again, just, i miss you.

it's so strange to think that someone i knew so well in such a short period of time, is now a total stranger to me. that sometimes i go entire days without thinking about you, not even a little bit.

most of the time, i let myself forget about the kiss and everything. because it's easier.

but then i find something. a photograph, those stupid friendship bracelets we made for each other at ms. val's daycare. and the full weight of what's being lost crashes down on me.

part of me wants to see you again, for you to hold me again, to kiss you again. but all of those feelings become empty thoughts.

when i look back now, remembering that everything isn't always as it seems, it's just so easy to forget.

but this isn't regret. we had amazing times and you helped me become a better person that i'd ever be in these past weeks. we had our reasons to stop talking, and they're as valid as ever.

but back at the start, i didn't need reasons to fall for you benny, i just did. but i guess you didn't feel the same.

and that's good. that means that one day i'll find someone i won't have to say goodbye to.

but part of me hopes you remember everything before the reasons and that, you miss me too.

- miss unpredictable
(arsenia bianchi)

i placed my pen down onto my desk and found an envelope and a stamp with a dog on it. he loved dogs so i felt like it was a nice touch. and maybe i was over thinking all of this, i just wanted it to be perfect.

i walked outside and the cool morning breeze and placed the letter in my mail box.

i took a deep breath and started to walk inside when i heard someone call my name.

"arsenia!!", i heard again.

i turned around slowly to see none other than benny rodriguez at my door step.

"b-benny?", i stuttered, "what are you doing here?". i asked crossing my arms and scratching the back of my neck.

"i was uh just in the neighborhood and i saw you out here and i just thought i'd say hi...", he trailed off, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"oh nice...", i mumbled and we both stood there awkwardly.

"so uh, how's school?", i asked him and he looked back up at me.

"oh it's great, i uh have a girlfriend now. do you know adrianne jenkins?", he questioned and i felt my heart sink to my stomach.

i didn't actually think he'd move on.

i nodded slowly,"oh..uh yeah, she seems like a nice girl", i said quietly hoping i didn't sound too disappointed.

benny smiled,"yeah she really is. well it was good seeing you arsenia, take care", he waved and started walking off.

once i saw him out of my sight i grabbed the letter out of my mailbox and stormed inside.

i ripped it up and threw it in the trash and ran up to my bedroom.

i collapsed on my bed and started crying. i don't even know why i was upset. we were never a thing. but i wanted to be his first girlfriend....

i wanted to be his, i just needed more time but he got tired of waiting and i watched him slip away.

benny

"baby what's wrong?", adrianne asked me as we sat in my room.

she was sitting on my bed and i sat facing her at my desk on my chair.

"what? oh nothing", i shrugged.

but it really wasn't nothing.

i saw arsenia today and she looked even better than i last saw her. her hair had gotten longer and her eyes looked even prettier than before, if that was even possible.

i felt bad for thinking about this since i was with adrianne now, but she was only really a
rebound. not that i would ever admit that out loud or anything, but those were just my thoughts.

talking to arsenia was just like old times, except she didn't argue with me. and she looked extremely sad.

maybe she had a boyfriend too. i always saw her at school flirting with other guys, that's the reason i started dating adrianne.

i knew it was a terrible thing to do, but i couldn't help it. i needed to stop thinking about arsenia, then adrianne came along and distracted me for a while.

i started to forget about arsenia, until i saw her at school. on picture day, she waved at me and i waved back.

then all my old feelings for her started to flow back into my head and every time i kissed adrianne, all i could think about was arsenia.

"benny? benny? hello?", adrianne snapped in front of my face and i looked at her blankly.

"what's been with you lately, benny? you haven't been acting like yourself", she stated scooting closer to me.

i shrugged and bit my finger nails, a bad habit of mine. "i've just been doing a lot of thinking, arsen-adrianne and i don't know..", i mumbled.

she stood up,"well if you want to be all crabby then i'm gonna leave you be", she huffed and slammed my bedroom door.

i was actually happy she left.

OKAY SO ACTUAL PLOT TWIST AHA IM NOT EVEN READY FOR THIS.

and creds to this youtube video called "I miss you| short film" i kind of used his letter for arsenia's letter. it's a good video you should watch it!!!

but i hope you liked this chapter don't be too mad at me!