Chapter Eighteen.

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Finn

I stomp down the stairs towards Maddy's bedroom. My footsteps echo on the old wooden steps. I gave Maddy time to sleep and get that asshole, Connor, out of the house before dealing with her myself. 

She sits in her bed with her laptop open, most likely binge watching some T.V show. Because that's Maddy's life: drinking and T.V.

Maddy's eyes barely register I'm there because she doesn't care. She doesn't care if I'm so fucking mad at her, or she doesn't remember what she did.

"Hey," she smiles and then maybe she notices my face or the way I'm standing with my hands balled up into fists at my side that she realizes, "shit, I'm sorry, Finn."

I attempt to calm myself down by breathing but nothing is working.

"Fuck, Maddy. I do everything for you. Do you not see or understand that?" My voice shakes with built up anger.

"I know. I'm sorry,"

"Sorry won't work this time. You can go and fuck up your own life, Maddy. But you are done fucking up mine in the process. If you want to turn out like Mom and Dad and Grandpa go ahead. I don't give a shit anymore. I can't give a shit anymore."

Her tears spill onto her cheeks. She lets silent tears flow from her eyes as she stares at me, speechless.

"You're giving up on me?" she asks her voice just a notch above a whisper.

I nod and look away from her because she's my sister and that is the last thing I want to do but I also know it's what I need to do, "yeah, you're on your own."

"You're choosing Westlyn over me?" She asks.

"No. I'm choosing myself and Peyton over you, Maddy. A choice I wouldn't even have to make if you didn't pull this crap constantly."

I leave her sitting there in her bedroom and hope that maybe this is the wakeup call she needs. Maybe she needs to figure out what she wants and who she wants to be on her own, without my constant interference.

I grab Peyton out of her crib, "ready to go deal with your mom now?" I ask and she laughs. I smile back because what the hell else is there to do in this situation.

Peyton eats breakfast at her highchair while I pack a bag so we can go talk to Laney. I decide it's better if we meet somewhere besides my house considering Maddy could explode at any given moment. I'm surprised she hasn't already.

We decide to meet at a coffeeshop not too far from either of us. Laney is already sitting down when we walk in, her red hair is wrapped up in a bun and she looks around and stops when she sees us. Her eyes widen when she sees Peyton with me.

I slowly walk over, my heart beating so hard, Laney smiles so wide when we sit down. Our silence stretches on, the only noise is Peyton's half formed words and babbles.

Then finally Laney says, "I regret it all, Finn. I was stupid and selfish but I was allowed to be, you know? We were young but I was acting my age. You've always had to deal with so much more and you were ready and if you didn't feel ready you would get there. I didn't know how to do that."

"We were in it together, Laney," I say it's hard to make eye contact with her.

"I know. But we weren't good together at that point. We were fighting and hurting each other on purpose and it was like this baby was going to fix everything and you know she wasn't going to. We both knew that."

I nod and pull out some snacks for Peyton. Laney watches her with so much interest, "I didn't know she could eat all that."

"She's 14 months, of course she can."

"See I still don't know anything and you know everything."

"Laney, I didn't know anything. I had to figure it all out on my own and deal with Maddy at the same time. It would have been more than helpful to have someone else there but you bailed. And it's really hard to believe you want back in."

She rubs her eyes and sighs, "I know. And I know I haven't changed all that much. I tried to rip through your lives and that wasn't fair. But I want this, Finn. I want to be a part of her life," She looks from Peyton to me, "and that doesn't mean we have to be anything more than acquaintances, Finn. I get it, I hurt you. I don't want anything more from you than this."

Laney has always been strong and confident and right now she looks like she might break down at any given moment. She is like a tornado that lost speed when she touched ground.

"Okay."

"Okay?" She asks.

"You can see Peyton and get to know her, completely on my terms. We start out small and work our way up, deal?"

"Yes, thank you so much."

And when she holds her arms out to take Peyton from me I am almost okay with it. Because Peyton deserves a life I didn't get.

"Hey, baby girl. I'm your mommy," Laney says quietly as she kisses Peyton's blonde curls.

Peyton laughs and says, "da da da," and I smile and Laney looks over to me and laughs too.

Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe my relationship with Maddy will fall apart before it can be mended, maybe everything with Laney, Peyton, and I will work out.

Now the only thing left to do is fix everything with Westlyn.


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thanks,

Brooke

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