"When are we gonna tell her? You know she don't like financial help from other people." He shrugged. "She's not going to take it." I shook my head. "Khyree probably knew that. Who would be the next person to take $500,000 other than your mom?" He shook his head. "Me. He planned it like that."
"Then there's the other $500,000 for me, my mom wouldn't know what to do with herself." It was silent for a second. "I say, we save it up. Keep it under wraps until we need it." He said.
"Keep it under wraps and then use it for us?" He nodded. I sighed. "We've been making it alright without the extra. We could use it for something important." I nodded. "Alright. I just can't believe he left that much just for us."
"You know he want us to succeed." I wiped my teary eye before I could cry. "Yeah. I still remember that last minute flight to Florida he put together for us." I said, chuckling. Me huffed a laugh. "Yeah, had no hesitation either."
"You know we gotta make it out now for him. Not just for us now." He nodded. "Thought that was a must. Ain't no doubt we pushing now."
•••
"Amaya, you okay?" She didn't look up from her pillow that she had her face buried in. "Leave me alone." I sighed, closing the door. "I said leave me alone. What don't you understand-"
She was about to pop off but I cut her off. "Maya, please. Calm down for a second."
She couldn't handle her feelings. How could I tell?... She started crying when I asked her to calm down. "Nicki, why him?! You can't tell me that this is in God's plan."
I raised my eyebrows, sitting next to her on her bed. "A, I don't know." My nickname for her. "He did everything for everyone. Even when he wasn't happy about himself. Onika why?!"
She held on tight to my waist and cried her ugly cry into my shoulder. I let her get it out, too.
"You know what gets me straight?" She wiped her eyes and sniffed. "What?" She said, her voice sounding stuffy from crying. "
"Music." She shrugged. "Dad had my Bluetooth speakers in the car with him, he was on his way back from helping out the marching band for the high school. The last thing I want to see is those speakers."
I shook my head. "You don't need to see them. Just close your eyes and take a deep breath."
She did as told and I wiped a tear that fell from her eyes. "You feeling sad or angry?" She shrugged. "Both."
I nodded, licking my lips.
"Welcome to the crying game
where you lose your soul
Where it ain't no easy pass
You gotta use the toll
Ain't no cruise control
You boutta lose control
Ain't no smiling facing here
We slamming doors and dishes
Saying we don't miss each other
But it's all fictitious
Saying that we've had enough
But enough of what
Another slap to the face
Another uppercut
I was abusive by nature
Not cause I hate ya
