It disgusting how much of my time I spend thinking about him, frowning at myself as I look at myself in the bathroom mirror. “Why do you do this to yourself move on already.” I’m officially going crazy talking to myself. “You’ve always been a little crazy, who you tryna fool.” Yeah I can’t deny the fact that I am a wee bit crazy. Gosh I’m losing my train of thought. I turn my focus back to what I was supposed to be doing before I started talking to myself. I take I deep breathes in and out. “You could do this, you could do this” chanting to myself I hold up the scissor in my hand and bring it up to a strand of my hair ready to cut. Just as I’m about to go through with it kasha walks into the bathroom. “Tiff what the hell are you doing?” placing both her hands on her hips and waits for me to explain. “What does it look like I’m doing” I place this scissor down and turn to face her. “Did you bring the dye like I asked you to?” she pulls it out her bag and hands it to me. I turn back and start doing what I was doing before she came in. “Can I ask you something?” “What?” she pauses and thinks before she says “Why exactly are you doing this?” my focus is now on her now as I debate whether or not I should tell her the real reason why I was about to cut off my hair. I guess I should tell her. “Every time I look at myself I she him even after all these years, I still wear my hair the way he likes it and I dress exactly how he liked me too back when we where dating, honestly it’s pathetic I need to move on. I’m a grown ass woman still moping around over some shit that happened in high school, everyone’s moving on except for me. I’m stuck in the past and I think It’s about time I start living in the present and stop letting my pass effect my future. I need to let go and move on. This new looks gonna be my fresh start.” With that said kasha gets up from where she was sitting and grins at me “Why didn’t you tell me this before girl, I’m all for this come on let me help you” I shrug and hand her the extra scissors, and we begin cutting. I’m really going to miss my hair. After what seemed like hours we where done my hair cut and dyed. I liked my hair before but now I’m in love with it. “Girl your hair looks amazing, damn and you look different too” smiling “You really think so” “Hell yeah you shoulda been done this a while ago.” We laugh and start cleaning up before Grammy gets home and flips out because of all the mess. Kasha leaves when where done cleaning.
“Tiffany get down here and help me bring in the groceries.” When did Grammy get home? I do as instructed and walk down stairs to help her out. “What in the world happened to your hair girl?” laughing I give her a hug she hesitates just and bit and reaches to touch my hair. “You don’t like” I grab the bags from her hand, she follows me to the kitchen with the rest of the bags. “I like but…Why did you cut off your hair? And why is it red? Oh lord. I leave you alone for a min and you go and cut of your beautiful hair and color it looking like Kool-aid” damn there she goes killing my mood. I don’t respond I just continue put all the stuff away. She does the same when she realizes that I’m not going to answer her. When we’re done I start to walk back up to my room but Grammy stops me. “Look I really do like your new hair do, I’m sorry if I made you feel bad about it, I know you probably love your new style and all, I’m just so use to your old look its just gonna take me a while to get use to the new look. I ’m sorry okay tiffany” for a min I want to just walk off and make her feel worse but that’s my Grandma for you she speaks her mind even if it hurts. She hugs me. “I forgive you grammy, but do you really like it tell me the truth.” I smile and start acting silly showing of my hair. Grammy laughs. “Of course I do if I said I did that means I do, it looks good on you. Next time though tell me before you and change your look on me okay.” “Will do” I laugh and go back to my room.
