Mute

Chapter 17

Suddenly, Hunter sits across Brady. Our entire group, plus Brady, looks over. Megan, who's sitting next to her ex is immediately looking awkward. Her facial expression is a mixture of fear and anxiety. Cameron is the opposite. She pulls Meg towards her discreetly and Jacob is giving him a death glare. Brady notices our change in attitude and confusion strikes his smile.

I place the note on the table and hit it hard enough to where I know everyone else will hear. Hunter glances at his note and looks up at me. I don't make any moves to give him my thoughts on it. Jacob protectively takes it and reads through, handing it to Cameron afterwards. Megan pops her head over and reads the note along with Cam who reads it critically. I look over at Jacob who's mouth is already moving in Hunter's direction.

My head moves around, trying to analyze their facial expressions. Megan gets angry and it scares everyone when she gets mad, even Cameron. Her face becomes red, her eyes cold, rigid, hard. They narrow in on Hunter and instant terror attacks his facial expression. From what I remember when I could hear, her voice creeps in a hushed tone, dropping an entire octave.

Cameron pulls her entire body back, her hands up in surrender. Jacob watches with an eerie smile, enjoying every second of this. I look over to Brady who is watching Meg intently with creased eyebrows and a concerned frown for the innocent girl seconds earlier.

I'm not able to catch what she says, although I wish I could. I think Brady catches it because his eyes become wide as Megan continues to talk. Once she's finished, she sits up and takes deep breaths to calm down. Hunter stands up, looking around nervously and walks away. Jacob gives Megan a big smile and Cam laughs at how cool that was.

What the heck just happened? Brady asks the group. Megan breaks into a smile and her bubbly mood comes back. Cameron explains the entire story, except the part of the rumor that Hunter spread to get everyone in this school to hate me. She knows that I can't be here when anyone talks about it.

It sounds like this school is  full of drama. Brady writes all of us with an overwhelmed smile. The other three's mouths open into a smile, and their shoulders bob up and down. I smile myself, nodding my head clearly. Anyways... what classes do you have? Jacob asks the new boy with a glare. Brady writes his schedule down. I try to peek over his shoulder to see any other classes I recognize, but I catch nothing. He puts it in the middle and I point to PE to try telling him that I'm in PE with him. My friends don't even catch what I'm saying. Brady signs to Jacob saying that he's in my PE class who translates to the other oblivious two girls at our table.

They hit realization at the same time, both of their mouths opening in awe. Brady seems to chuckle beside me and Jacob just shakes his head with a slight smile. I watch intently to try and catch a shared class between my friends and the maybe new member of our group. The three others huddle around the schedule, but none of them make any gestures. Soon, each of them backs away with a sigh and a shake of the head.

"So I just have a class with Ashley?" Brady asks Jacob, who refuses to answer. He just points to a board. The new guy smiles and picks up a pen to begin writing the same question down. When Cam and Megan look over at the board, Cameron sits back and nods her head aggressively a few times.

She looks over at Jacob. For the first time since I've gone deaf, she begins to speak to him. Not on a board, her lips move, leaving Brady and me in the dark. I purse my lips, a little hurt at her notion. What does she have to say that doesn't include me? I try to read her lips, but she stops and I suddenly see movement out of the corner of my eye. Peeking over, I see Jacob moving his lips as well.

The two of them look angry, for a reason that I don't know of because they aren't saying anything to us. I look over at Brady who sits back and doodles on the board, as if unfazed by this. Megan suddenly writes something and shoves it in their faces, also looking very angry.

The other two shut up immediately and look a little guilty. Megan erases her board before I can see it, and I get up to leave. Everyone else in the cafeteria is starting to pack up, meaning lunch is over, so I put my stuff away and start walking away.

I feel hurt by their actions; they acted as if I wasn't even there. I feel a gentle hand on my elbow and look over casually, figuring it's just Jacob apologizing. However, it's Brady. He sends an enthusiastic smile. "I thought I was gonna lose you! I know you don't speak, but I'm just so excited to be able to sign and have someone understand me! I'm so excited!" He says, his facial expression showing a thrilled smile with lively eyes. I almost burst out laughing at the sight.

This boy, whom I barely know, is so excited about being deaf. It's like he has forgotten what it's like to be able to hear and he doesn't care that he's lost his hearing at all. Why is he likes this? Just the thought of being happy and deaf at the same time. It's like an oxymoron; a happy deaf person. It doesn't work! People are born with five senses, and to have one missing seems wrong, unfair even. I become angry at the thought, and suddenly turn away and walk away from the clueless boy.

I race back to the cafeteria, which has cleared out by now. I drop my head on the table a little harshly, and it hurts my forehead. I don't care though, I'm too frustrated right now. The thought of Brady being happy doesn't commute with my mind. The two don't match. It doesn't work.

I feel one quick tap on my shoulder and I look over to see a blonde, deaf boy who smiles sadly at me. Rage fills me, and I can't contain it anymore. For three years, I've been deaf, and this entire time I've been holding in this anger inside me. I've been able to cope with the sadness, but the anger has just been building up inside me, every time someone laughs at me, taunts me, bullies me, tries to talk to me, even gives me the sympathetic "sorry". I can't hold it inside me anymore.

"How can you be happy!? You can't hear anything and somehow you're happy that there's another deaf person that you've been able to meet?! Hey, Brady, do you know how selfish that is? To find another person who is lacking the same thing that every human being should be born with, and be happy about that? I hate you, Brady, I hate you with every ounce of hatred that I have left lingering in my body after all of the self-worthlessness that sucks all of the energy from me! And you know why I hate you? Because, somehow, you have found a way to either pretend to be happy or actually find a sliver of joy in yourself to be able to smile without breaking into tears!" I sign furiously, my hands moving rapidly across my body as Brady watches, his smile fading slowly as I move my rant along. I pant and slink into the spot, tears having moved their way down my face through my little speech.

I'm about to begin sobbing on the spot, until a semi suddenly hits me with realization. I freeze up, my back stiffening and my head perking up.

I spoke.

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Um, I'd rather not say anything this time. Just, uh, place your thoughts in the comments, please?