Love Me (Normani)

Chapter 34

"We've not spoken in three days." Normani admitted to Dinah. "Why not?" "She's just shutting me out!" Normani huffed as she threw a pebble into the lake they were at. "Sometimes Lauren does that babe.." "I know she does but not to me!" Normani replied worriedly. "Have you texted her?" "Of course I have! I've called her, I've texted her, I've even called over at her house and every time I'm ignored, declined and turned away. It's not normal..it's not us. I don't think she's even talking to Camila because she keeps asking me how Lauren is herself. So tell me what the hell I do now." Normani ranted. Dinah sat down on the grass and patted the space next to her for her girlfriend to sit with her. "She's still going to school right?" "Yeah but I never see her, even if we're in the same class, she always avoids me." Normani sighed. "I don't suppose you've heard from her?" Normani asked Dinah, already knowing what her answer would be. "No. But call over her house tonight, maybe it'll be different this time." "Yeah, that's what I've been telling myself the last few times. But regardless, I hope you're right." Normani half smiled. "It's getting late, maybe I should call over now. I have plans tonight." Normani said vaguely. She didn't want to go into detail, Dinah wouldn't approve. She was heading to the gym. "Okay, looks like I actually have to get home too. I've been asked to help make dinner. Good luck with Lauren, let me know what goes down." Dinah said as they approached Lauren's road. "I will, night Dinah." Normani pecked her lips, Dinah tried to turn it into a mini makeout session but Normani pressed against her chest lightly. "I gotta go." "Yeah, so do I, sadly." Dinah pouted. "See you later!" Dinah called as she walked away. "Lauren!" Normani said with relief before the door started to shut on her but Normani stuck her foot in the way before she could. "No! You can't keep shutting me out. Why do you keep on avoiding me like this?" Normani demanded to know the reason. Lauren didn't even reply, just continued to try and shut the door. "Just let me in, you might as well, I'm not gonna go away this time." Normani insisted. But Lauren couldn't even look at her. "Please Lauren." The brown eyed girl begged. Lauren let out a puff of air and reluctantly left the door alone and went upstairs. Which Normani took as signal for she could come in and go up to her room. She did a silent celebration in her head before she went inside, shut the front door behind her and followed the Cuban up to her bedroom. "So come on then, why have you been completely avoiding me for the past three days?" Normani asked, sitting on Lauren's bed. Lauren met her eyes finally and her bottom lip trembled. "Why are you upset?" Normani immediately became concerned. "I came out." Lauren mumbled. "I told my family I was gay and now," her voice cracked. "Now Chris and Taylor are ignoring me, and my Dad..my Dad can't even look at me ever since I told him." "Oh Lauren.." Normani gasped. "I'm really sorry.." "So forgive me for not being the most social, uplifting person in the world when everybody except my mother resents me and my best friend is fucking killing herself." Normani swallowed the lump in her throat that started to form and reached for her hand. "Just don't." Lauren scoffed, moving it away. "I'm sorry.." Normani mumbled, her words honest. "I'm..I'm really trying. I ate my dinner last night and even my breakfast this morning and I didn't throw either of them up." Lauren met her brown eyes searching for any indication she was lying. "That's great Mani, I'm proud." She said but her tone was still sad. "Is there anything I can do?" Lauren laughed at the question, but it was a laugh of despair. "If you could turn the clock back to before I came out, or even make me straight that'd be swell." Lauren said bitterly. "Well I'm not magic..but will a hug do instead?" Normani asked with the best puppy dog eyes she could muster up. The green eyed girl met her best friend's eyes and nodded. Normani scooted over and wrapped her arms around Lauren and stroked her hair when she started to feel a wetness on her neck where Lauren's face was buried. "They fucking hate me Normani." She cried. Normani kissed her temple and squeezed her in the hug. "Give them time." Lauren tried to squeeze Normani back but winced at the contact. She prayed she hadn't, but Normani did notice, and she called her out on it. "Lauren..." Lauren groaned, she should have seen this coming. She pulled back when Normani took her shoulders. "You-" "Yes I did but can you really blame me?" Lauren cut her off. Normani sighed and slowly shook her head. "No, I just wish you wouldn't do that to yourself." "Yeah it's not fun is it? Knowing your best friend is in pain, hurting themselves and not being able to do anything about it." Lauren said, finally pouring her emotions out. "It sucks ass, doesn't it? You feel so fucking helpless and even though you want to help you can't but you convince yourself you can and there must be a way and that everything will be fine but it won't because-" Normani pulled Lauren into another hug as she started to break down. "Shh, shh it's okay." "But that's the point it's not!!" Lauren shouted. "It won't be, we're stuck, Normani. Look at us, we're stuck in stupid damaging, dangerous cycles of inflicting pain on ourselves and neither of us can get out of it. And I don't know about you but right now I don't want to." Lauren ranted tearfully as she thought of her blade hidden in the bathroom. "It's all I've got." Normani cupped one of her cheeks and stroked it warmly. "Exactly."