Bullied to death

Friday July 19th

Greetings Diary

Yes! Its finally the weekend, like any other teenager i long for the weekend. Those days when i can lay in bed, watch Youtube all day and get away with it. I have thought several times, should i make these videos myself? But that involves putting in a lot of time (which i don't have) and effort. Now I'm sitting here in my cosy bed writing in you, when honestly i could be replaying My playlist of Dan And Phil or Someone else, now no matter where i go, who i watch and when i watch, its not of their business, honestly privacy and personal space is nice people

If i could do anything in this world, i would really like to know what goes on inside those boys mind (By those boys i mean Marcus and Rory) Are they going through stuff at home? Are they doing it just to look cool? These questions have begun to haunt me for a while on exactly "Why?" they do it. Honestly i can't wait till i graduate because then I'll be free of them, but that doesn't mean I'll be free of bullies for my whole life, i might get bullied in the work force, by random strangers etc Its really a shame a lot of bullying happens in this world, No I'm not just saying this all because I'm the victim and all, i actually worry what goes through their minds each and every time they do it, If their happiness equals my sadness then i can live with that, because we all need a little sadness in out lives to be truly happy

But then again i shouldn't feel sorry for those bastards because since 7th grade they have made Middle school and High school hard for me, each year it has only gotten harder and harder, Yet they don't see that, No body does. Great, they're having a party across the street, and i really thought i would get to be alone tonight but no they have to torture me with there loud music and fun times and they purposely don't invite me because "Gothic Girl, Bullied Girl, Suicidal Girl, Attention Seeker" Now i recon they all need to grow up and help me fight these bullies, who one day will turn on them and do the same in return, but they don't even care about the fact that i have scars, and horrible memories now because no one helped me, they all stood there and did nothing, and that my friend is called by-standing what occasionally happens when your the outcast in a high school and no one cares about you anymore

What mainly happened today was i was shoved into the boys bathroom and was told to strip tease for them, um no do i look like a slut? I have a feeling that these boys might like me after that, but i assure you we will never be friends after all they have put me through. It got worse after lunch also, they tried removing my skirt on the football field in front of Ziggy (i was only there because i was watching him practise) But Luckily i did a runner and saved myself from the embarressment, which by the way i face a lot.

As Much as i would love to chat though, i really ought to get some sleep. Because Youtubing without any energy isn't any fun at all

Night xx