The Unfortunate Events of the DJ from Hell

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AN: For a friend who sent me the prompt "Fat dwarves" on a group chat. I bet he thought I wouldn't write it. Sent in the JONAS'verse.

Also posted on Tumblr and AO3

The thing is, it was originally Joe's idea.

Nick wants to remove the stupid outfit and take off the makeup and not be Snow White. What Kevin seems to not realise is that he looks fucking hilarious as a fat dwarf and the fact he's walking around on his knees makes it better.

But it isn't good enough that Nick wants to stay as Snow White and be a fair maiden and have to walk around with a basket of apples just for Halloween.

And the fact Macy's taking pictures right now is worse because they are going right up on her blog and everyone in the JONAS fanclub is going to see them and print them and–

"It's going to be fine, no one will recognise you," Joe says, but Joe's fucking lying, so there's that.

"No Frankie don't–"

And then Frankie runs through and hides behind Joe with Kevin's fat dwarf wig.

Just as Kevin lunges for Joe, Nick makes a break for the door.