BECAUSE → MEANIE

04

"get over him," mingyu stared at himself in the mirror.

this was a daily occurrence. he talked to himself to help him get over the boy he once loved. he would force himself to forget wonwoo; he would lie to himself saying that he hated wonwoo.

mingyu could never seem to stop thinking about wonwoo. he no longer cried over missing him, but he still thought about him. he thought about wonwoo regardless of what he was doing. everything seemed to remind mingyu of wonwoo, and it drove mingyu insane.

the sofa was his bed. he couldn't sleep in his own bed; memories of waking up next to wonwoo would haunt his dreams, and mingyu would wake up in a cold sweat. he honestly thought wonwoo was with him; he felt himself hallucinate.

today was a lazy day. today was a sofa day. mingyu sat on the sofa and sprawled out, his chest pressing against the bottom of his sofa cushions. his face pressed against the cool leather, his cheeks and eyes red. he wanted to cry; he felt as if he could cry at any second.

"stop this, kim mingyu," he whispered to himself as he watched the rerun of a movie both he and wonwoo watched all the time.

wonwoo sneezed. he stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, the bedsheets that were supposed to be braided between his legs collapsed on the floor. he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed; he was too tired. he was sluggish from the very moment he rolled out of bed and stumbled into the shower. the cold water from the shower head didn't help him wake up. if anything, it willed him to go back to bed.

the cereal seemed staler, and the milk seemed more watered down than usual. wonwoo lost his appetite to eat and poured the soggy cereal down the drain along with the murky milk. wonwoo had no will at all. he just wanted to sleep, maybe even hibernate. he didn't have a job, but he had rich parents. he wouldn't have to do anything for as long as he lived, which bored wonwoo.

the tv in front of him was pitch black, wonwoo staring at the display. his fingers itched to press the power button and turn on the tv, but his eyes refused to let him do anything. his fingers won the battle. wonwoo turned on the tv.

telepathy must've existed between the two. there was no other explanation for the terrible feeling wonwoo had in his gut. wonwoo knew mingyu was crying at the very moment he turned on the tv. he knew mingyu would be watching this very channel and this very movie when he saw the main character cross the screen.

"mingyu," mingyu's name left wonwoo's tongue.

"wonwoo, i'm sorry," mingyu cried as he buried his face into the sofa cushions.

"mingyu, you fucker," wonwoo bit his lip; he was about to cry.

"wonwoo," mingyu sniffled. "wonwoo, i love you,"

"i hate you, kim mingyu," wonwoo shook his head. he refused to cry.

"why won't you love me again?"

"because it hurts to love you,"